‘Glee’ Plans to Auto-Tune Actor’s Death into Show

NEW YORK – Following the shocking news over the weekend that 31-year-old actor Cory Monteith was found dead in a Vancouver hotel room, those closest to him have struggled to find a way to move forward. Monteith, a Canadian native, was most famous for his performance as the jock-turned-showman Finn on Fox’s hit program “Glee,” the producers of which now say they have a plan.

“Yeah, Cory threw us for a real loop there with his death,” said “Glee” creator Ryan Murphy. “Mid-season, we could have worked with that – a car crash, or maybe some controversy-bait gun violence – but season premiere? No way. We’re going to have to auto-tune this mess.”

Monteith had been on “Glee” since its premiere. The Emmy-winning musical dramedy was once about a misfit, Middle America high school show choir, though it has “evolved” into a soap opera hit parade, with celebrity guests and vocally thin, high-glitz versions of popular songs. Monteith charted on iTunes with his heavily produced pop versions of radio staples like “Faithfully” or “Can’t Fight This Feeling.”

“[Costar and real-life girlfriend] Lea [Michele] is apparently just devasted,” Murphy said. “But don’t worry – we’ll find her a new duet partner soon enough. They’re performing an autopsy to see what happened to our poor Cory, but I’m sure it’s nothing a little auto-tune won’t fix.”

As of press time, everyone had bailed on “Glee” by 2011.