NewsLo
  • Today’s Headlines
  • Featured
  • US
  • Politics
  • World
  • Media
  • Sports
  • Privacy Policy
Subscribe
NewsLo
NewsLo
  • Home
  • Business
    • Accounting
    • Advertising
    • Branding
    • Career
    • Customer Service
    • Cyber Security
    • Entrepreneur
    • Jobs
    • Management
    • Marketing
    • Non Profit
    • Search Engine Optimization
    • Sales
    • Web Design
  • Finance
    • Banking
    • Bankruptcy
    • Budgeting
    • Credit
    • Debt
    • Estate Wills & Trusts
    • Home Improvements
    • Law
    • Loans
    • Personal Finance
    • Taxes
    • Shopping
  • Investment
    • Crypto Currency
    • Gold & Silver
    • Hard Assets
    • Real Estate
    • Retirement
    • Stocks & Bonds
    • Trading
  • Real Estate
    • Buying
    • Selling
    • Commercial Construction
    • Construction Law
    • Home Improvement
    • Loans
    • Property Management
    • Real Estate Laws
    • Rental Property
  • Insurance
    • Auto Insurance
    • Commercial Real Estate Insurance
    • Crop Insurance
    • Dental Insurance
    • Disability Insurance
    • Health Insurance
    • Home Owners Insurance
    • Identity Theft Protection
    • Insurance Law
    • Investment Insurance
  • Contact Us
  • Politics

God Reportedly Tells Michele Bachmann to Shut Up

  • December 28, 2012
  • News Lo
Total
0
Shares
0
0
0

WOODBURY, Minn. — Minnesota Republican Representative Michele Bachmann, famous for comparing herself to mass murderer John Wayne Gracey and for allegedly receiving all of her political positions from conversations with God, has remained noticeably quiet since the outcome of the 2012 presidential election. The former outspoken politician, who explained that getting rid of minimum wage would eliminate unemployment and that not all cultures are created equal, has not publicized any of her recent opinions gleaned from discussions with God since Obama’s victory in November.

This has lead some to question the nature of Bachmann’s discussions with God and whether or not he feels that she is an apt spokesperson for the job.

“I do not wish to question the authenticity of Ms. Bachmann’s claims as I’m not a political man,” explained father William Thomas of the St. Anne’s cathedral in D.C.. “But the last representatives who actually spoke with God were Jesus and Moses – and I haven’t heard of Ms. Bachmann changing water to wine or parting any seas lately…”

Further critics have surmised, that even if Bachmann did indeed talk to God during the 2012 presidential election, her noticeable silence since November and nearly losing reelection, suggests that God may not have been pleased with her leaking the contents of their conversations.  Rumors are swirling around Washington that God has since sought to distance himself from the conservative scarecrow.

“God told her to shut up,” commented Republican Maine Senator Susan Collins in an interview on Tuesday. “She was really embarrassing the party with all this nonsense about HPV vaccines leading to mental retardation, so he told her to shove it – he told me this himself.”

While sources have not been able to verify this claim from Collins’ conversations with God, her past record of sane statements lends validity to her assertion, leading many to believe that we have heard the last from Bachmann’s conversations with God – until the next election that is.

Total
0
Shares
Share 0
Tweet 0
Pin it 0
Related Topics
  • Bachmann reelection
  • Congresswoman Michele Bachmann
  • God and bachmann
  • Michele Bachmann conspiracy
  • Michelle Bachmann and god
  • Michelle Bachmann and muslim conspiracy
  • Michelle Bachmann come back
  • Michelle Bachmann where are you
  • political humor
Avatar of News Lo
News Lo

Welcome to Newslo! Our team of dedicated authors strives to deliver the latest and most important info on finance while infusing a dose of our own style to give you a unique experience. Whether you're looking for in-depth discussions on investments or solid finance tips, we have something for everyone. Our goal is to deliver you the best possible content. So, keep reading our articles and give us your feedback!

Previous Article
bloomberg
  • New York

Mayor Bloomberg Demands President Obama Call Him Back

  • December 28, 2012
  • News Lo
View Post
Next Article
  • Politics

Nation Shocked Members of Congress are Still Employed

  • December 29, 2012
  • News Lo
View Post
NewsLo
  • Today’s Headlines
  • Featured
  • US
  • Politics
  • World
  • Media
  • Sports
  • Privacy Policy
Navigating the world of finance, one step at a time.

Input your search keywords and press Enter.