Golden Globes Snub Superheroes Yet Again

LOS ANGELES – The Hollywood Foreign Press Association on Sunday once again flipped the movie-going public the bird by failing to award a single Golden Globe to a film centered around a superhero or space alien.

“I feel pretty crushed right now,” said director Joss Whedon, whose movie The Avengers did not win a single Golden Globe award despite earning over $620 million at the domestic box office this summer to become the highest-grossing movie of all time in the Non-James-Cameron division. “We were sure The Hulk was going to win Best Supporting Actor. Or Thor. Or maybe even Hawkeye. This is worse than when they dissed Serenity.

In what many are seeing as a complete affront to the genre of “Films People Actually Want to See,” the award for Best Picture: Drama went not to one of the many excellent films about superheroes or space aliens, but to Argo, a film that centers around a fake film about space aliens.

“It’s like they’re rubbing it in,” said Men in Black 3 director Barry Sonnenfeld. “They ask us to make these superhero and space alien movies time and again to pay for all the boring films that lose money, but when it comes time to hand out the awards, they stiff us. Almost makes me mad enough to refuse to make Men in Black 4.”

Hollywood Foreign Press Association President Aida Takla-O’Reilly took offense to the accusation that his organization was ignoring genre films. “Spuerhero films, in particular, are very important to us,” he said. “We would never have known to name Hugh Jackman Best Actor in a Musical of Comedy for Les Miserables if he wasn’t Wolverine. And Jennifer Lawrence winning for Silver Linings Playbook? We’d never have even seen the movie if she wasn’t both Katniss in The Hunger Games and Raven in the revamp of the X-Men franchise.”

He went on to point out that Best Director Ben Affleck was Daredevil, Best Supporting Actress Anne Hathaway was Catwoman, Best Supporting Actor Christoph Waltz was the main villain in The Green Hornet, and Best Actor for a Drama Daniel Day-Lewis was Bill ‘The Butcher’ Cutting in Gangs of New York, which while not technically a superhero movie, did involve Day-Lewis tapping a knife against his eyeball.