Home Politics GOP Blames Obama for Their Inability to Locate Benghazi on a Map

GOP Blames Obama for Their Inability to Locate Benghazi on a Map

WASHINGTON — Republicans took the Senate floor today to blast the Obama administration, charging that President Barack Obama knowingly and with malice chose a confusing location as the site of the Benghazi embassy scandal.

“He could have had his scandal in some place decent, like Paris or London, but instead he chose a place on the map that’s really, really difficult for most conservative-leaning individuals to find,” complained Republican Sen. John McCain. “I have constituents coming up to me all the time asking what exactly the president did wrong, when are we going to impeach him for it and where in the world is this Benghazi place anyway? He did this on purpose!”

GOP officials are on the defensive after a recent poll found that 39 percent of responders who believe Benghazi is the biggest cover-up of all time don’t know where Benghazi is. “It is not that we don’t know geography,” continued McCain. “It’s that this administration has purposefully and systematically undermined the study of maps in order to cover up this horrific scandal.”

While there is no concrete evidence that the Obama administration has removed Benghazi from maps of Libya, the GOP remains insistent that their lack of knowledge is the commander-in-chief’s fault. “Obama has made geography absurdly boring in an effort to cover up for his drastic failure in protecting Americans,” said McCain.

Republicans remain optimistic that even though their party base has no grasp of even basic geography, they still suspect atrocious government malfeasance abroad, as evidenced by the same poll finding that 74 percent of Republicans maintain that the Benghazi scandal is worse than Watergate.

“When the public finally learns the truth about Benghazi, that President Obama personally did some very bad things having something to do with the matter, they will demand justice,” said Republican Sen. Bob Corker. “And if for some reason they don’t, then they’ll really demand justice over the way Obama forced them to deal with geography. Nobody likes geography.”

“It is the job of the president to keep Americans safe,” said McCain. “Under a Republican president this would never happen. Sure, under the Bush administration a suicide bomb killed a U.S diplomat in Karachi, gunmen attacked our embassy in Syria and the American embassy in Yemen came under mortar fire, but that was totally different.”

The President refused to comment on the new accusations, but one reporter did spot him rolling his eyes and muttering, “You have to be fucking kidding me.”

7 COMMENTS

  1. I think these cheap labor conservative republicans need to get a grip. They did this ,it is budget cutting and resource related . The House control did this GET THE “F” OVER IT move on fools….

  2. Lol, same old GOP deflection, please tell me just what it is you are trying to conserve? It’s not the planet. It’s not the economy y’all tanked. It’s not middle-class prosperity, ya done that in too. It’s not a reasonable and prudent goverment – unless you really like utter chaos. It can’t be our fine American system of civil rights, you’re busy removing those from folks who may look/act a bit different from y’all. Oh, I know – y’all want to preserve the mythos of some day, your ship will come in. Lol, the Koch Bros. blew THAT vessle clean out of the water as you cheered them on when they bought up our government for cash. So, just what ARE y’all attempting to ‘conserve’?

Must Read

Essay Writing Tips for US Students Studying Abroad

Essays writing is maybe the most common assignment of students’ homework. Almost every teacher and professor in the world requires handling such...

Learn about Some Common Instagram Mistakes that Fashion Brands Must Avoid in 2019 & Beyond

Ever since its inception, Instagram has provided brands and businesses the golden opportunity to effectively connect and engage with their target audience...

Points to remember when looking to overcome drug addiction

In a weak moment, out of curiosity or due to something else, you may have ended up getting addicted to a drug....

Every Serious Driving Enthusiast Should Have Up to Date Insurance

For those who usually owned at least one motorcycle, a pickup truck and a car – sometimes two or three cars –...

4 Tips for Successful Debt Consolidation

Debt consolidation is the buzzword today. Besides refinancing, huge purchases, or taking a mortgage, many online lenders provide an opportunity for customers...
Read previous post:
‘How I Met Your Mother’ Sort-of Fans Disappointed, Thought Season Finale Was Series Finale

Sort-of fans of CBS’s “How I Met Your Mother” were disappointed Monday night with the Season 8 finale in which...

Close