Gov. LePage: “Healthy Women Who Are Able To Work The Streets Shouldn’t Be On Food Stamps”

Washington, D.C. – Maine Gov. Paul LePage (R) is putting vulnerable people in his state at risk with his food stamp crusade, a spokesman for the U.S. Department of Agriculture said recently. In a letter to the Obama administration, LePage said that if the federal government won’t let him stop Mainers from using Supplemental Nutrition Assistance Program debit cards to buy candy and soda, then the state will wash its hands of the SNAP program altogether and let the federal government deal with it. USDA spokesman Matt Herrick says the agency can’t just step in and do the state’s job of distributing the federal benefit to low-income individuals and families.

However, LePage is adamant as always. The controversial Republican governor of Maine argued in an interview with The Huffington Post that it is “completely illogical and equal to stealing” when there is a situation in which hard-working Mainers are required to pay their hard-earned money in order for someone who pretends to be struggling to use that money to go out and feast on Mountain Dew and Mars bars. “I won’t have it, it’s not fair and it will not be done in Maine as long as I am governor,” he said.

Oddly enough, LePage then argued that some members of the population “will always have a way to earn a living” despite the fact that they believe otherwise. “We are going way off here,” he said. “Before discussing what the tax payers’ money is being spent on, I think we should determine who it is that qualifies to be on food stamps in the first place.” And then he went off: “You know, I keep hearing how women are the weaker sex and how men should be the ones who provide for them and all that. In fact, biology, evolution, God or whatever you want to believe in, it doesn’t matter, but they don’t agree with you. All women in the world are born with everything they need to provide for themselves, and that’s a fact.”

Asked to elaborate, the governor said that there is a “very specific question” that needs answering before the interview went any further. “Let me ask you, and you try to come up with any kind of answer you want, but let me ask you, why should a healthy woman, any health women anywhere, be on food stamps? Where the logic in that? What’s stopping her from working the streets and providing for herself and her family that way?” Baffled, the interviewer argued, “I don’t know, how about decency and common sense?” “You’re out of your mind,” LePage continued. “Everybody knows that if you’re really struggling so bad you can’t afford food, decency and common sense go out the window in a heartbeat.”

He continued, “Let me tell you something, I don’t believe any woman who’s able to move around and who’s healthy enough to be working the streets should be on food stamps, that’s the same as stealing the money directly from the tax payers’ pockets. And you go to jail for stealing, let me remind you.” “And besides, I’d give the same advice to men, if there was a demand for male prostitutes. But since there isn’t, I’d like to urge all the men out there who are struggling to talk to your women and convince them to stop being thieves and to go out there and try to make it work on your own. You’ll feel much better about yourselves, and in the process, your women will pick up a ton of new tricks when it comes to their marital duties. You can thank me on the next election,” LePage said half-seriously.

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