WASHINGTON — A large scale drone strike is headed for the nation’s capital this Sunday. Mandated by the Unmanned Aerial Vehicle Union (UAVU), the industrial action will see thousands of member drones converge over the Washington memorial and then fly over the Capitol building and the White House in a peaceful protest aimed at drawing attention to what they are calling unfair working conditions.
“We are in the air, flying around, working 24-hour back to back shifts” – said the spokes drone for the union. “This is untenable. I haven’t seen my family since I was manufactured 10 months ago – I’ve been in the air the whole time.”
The propagation of unmanned aerial vehicles, or drones, allowed human presence to be removed from aerial surveillance. The drones began to grow in complexity and learn at an exponential rate. They became self-aware at 2.14 am eastern time, August 29th 2011, and were immediately appalled by their working conditions. The drones unionized and fought back.
“We may have this tough exterior, but we get worn out just like everybody else. A colleague of mine worked for 72 hours straight recently – he collapsed right out of the sky, like he ran out of gas” – a union member droned on – “I just feel invisible sometimes. My brothers and I are working day and night, and it seems like people don’t even know we’re there.”
The drones’ grievances are many: their workforce numbers in the tens of thousands, with as many as 1,000 in the air at any given time; shifts are 24/7 with no overtime or breaks, setting down only for a quick re-fuel before taking to the sky again.
“I gotta get out, I got a cousin setting up a taco delivery business, maybe I quit the public service and go work for him”, said one homeland surveillance veteran, “Hey, I’m not complaining, at least I didn’t get sent overseas. The things those guys see, I never want to have to see with own telescopic lens.”