Donald Trump’s surrogates are having a tough time spinning the recent revelation that Trump advocated grabbing women by their genitalia and forcing himself on them. Scottie Nell Hughes tried to spin to blaming Hillary Clinton for Benghazi instead of talking about Trump’s words and the way he has historically treated women. “Well, those words are horrendous. …The words for Donald Trump 11 years ago are bad. But not near as bad as Hillary Clinton since she’s been in office.”
During her near-impossible attempt to justify the Republican presidential candidate’s controversial recording dating back to 2005, Hughes confused CNN host Erin Burnett by saying that, even though the recording seemingly sounds self-explanatory, “no one can offer hard evidence that Donald Trump wasn’t actually referring to groping pussycats.” At first taken aback by the surrogate’s blatant attempt to make fools out of everybody in the studio, Burnett eventually replied, “Oh, please elaborate on that further.”
“There’s no reason to react in such a way – believe me, I’m well aware of what it sounds like. At the end of the day, why would Donald Trump be talking about groping pussycats, right?” Hughes said with a smile, clearly attempting to ease the tension. “But, if you think about it, it actually makes a lot of sense. If you look at Trump’s history, you’ll see that he’s been a cat person ever since he was a young boy. He has owned several cats throughout his lifetime and is a major shareholder in a company that makes cat food, whose name I will not be disclosing at this time.”
“Believe it or not, he’s been a cat person all his life,” the surrogate continued. “As a matter of fact, many people don’t know this, but an entire floor of the Trump Tower in New York City is actually home to a cat shelter. This is Donald Trump’s personal oasis, hidden away from the flashes of reporters’ cameras and big network interviews. That’s where he goes to unwind and prepare for the upcoming presidential election in November.”
Asked again by Burnett to elaborate on the alleged top-secret preparations of the billionaire businessman for battling Hillary Clinton for the presidency, Hughes loudly contemplated, “Well, I’m not supposed to be revealing this, but what the heck, the situation obviously calls for it.” She went on to argue that cats are some of the “most stubborn creatures in nature,” and that the Republican presidential candidate is aware of that. “In fact, he goes to his personal cat shelter in NYC’s Trump Tower regularly to practice becoming a cat whisperer. He does this because, in his own words, ‘If I can command animals as stubborn as cats, surely I’ll be able to command Americans, and most importantly, our human enemies.’”
“He’s basically every bit as talented as celebrity dog whisperer Cesar Milan, only with cats. In fact, some say that he taught Milan everything he knows,” Hughes said. “Donald Trump has actually used his cat manipulation training in his day job for many years now. That’s actually one of the ways in which he was able to multiply his wealth. And now he’s working on achieving the highest level of control so that he can use his powers on America’s enemies, starting with commanding the government of Mexico to pay for the Trump Wall on America’s southern border.”
“So, you see, when he said that horrible thing about grabbing women by their p*ssy, he was probably referring to groping them by their pussycats, meaning that – since us women are often more stubborn than even cats, he has developed his own unique way of dealing with us. Truth be told, he should have formulated that sentence differently, but meant no harm. Getting his opponents to do his bidding has always been a defining trait of Donald Trump, regardless of whether that opponent were cats, business competitors, enemies of the United States, or, in this case, women,” Hughes concluded.