Internet Perverts Disappointed to Learn True Definition of “Cyber Monday”

NEW YORK — Perverts across the nation were let down by the Internet for the first time ever this week when they discovered the true meaning of the term “Cyber Monday,” the day when many Internet retailers choose to drop their prices dramatically.

Following Thanksgiving by just a few days, “Cyber Monday” looks to compete with the infamous “Black Friday,” the more recent “Small Business Saturday” and the historic “Take One Fucking Day Off from Shopping Sunday.”

Cybersex enthusiasts, however, felt “manipulated’ and “duped” by the sale’s moniker.

“It just feels deceptive, that’s all,” online sexual role-playing participant HungLikeAUnicorn69 explained. “You come to rely on this thing, the Internet. You expect it to stay devoted with laser-like intensity to smut, and then, you know, this. It’s just kind of a let-down.”

Sex chat user SexyPlumber4U concurred. “Sex isn’t the only thing computers are for, I guess, but you can generally bank on anything that sounds dirty. The Internet should be ashamed of itself.”