Iran Lifts Social Media Ban so Leaders can Check Facebook, Browse YouPorn

TEHREN – According to reports, Iranian authorities have begun easing their censorship of social media and other internet platforms since President Hassan Rohani and his cabinet took office last month. Experts say the change in policy reflects Iranian leaders’ desire to use the internet to reach out to the country’s tech-savvy youth, as well as view the occasional pornographic video.

“Rohani’s election has already ushered in significant change in Iran,” said Flynn Leverett, Iranian scholar at Penn State University. “Several members of his cabinet have already used proxy servers to launch Facebook pages and check out amateur solo videos here and there, which has put the censorship authorities in an awkward place.”

Leverett explained that the authorities will eventually be forced to confront a fundamental hypocrisy: “If the leaders can use Twitter and browse YouPorn, why can’t the Iranian people?”

Abdolsamad Khoramabadi, head of the Iranian government’s censorship task force, has indicated that the cabinet members’ social media pages and will be closely monitored for “illegal” activity, but has yet to take action or comment on the officials’ browsing histories, which reportedly include MILF and even GILF-featured videos.

Iranian officials stress that Rohani’s cabinet members have been using social media sites in a very limited capacity, and have only watched short, mostly-softcore videos, in order to better understand the West. Mohammad Javad Zarif, Iran’s foreign minister, said that, personally, he’s been using the internet’s vast social media and pornographic reserves to prepare for meetings with American officials to discuss lifting economic sanctions.

“How can we have a dialogue with America if we don’t understand Facebook and porn, two of your biggest hobbies?” Zarif said. “Every day I’m learning new things, like how to retweet or what DP stands for, and in this way we’re coming this much closer to peace between our nations.”