ISIS Promise Yearly Salary Of $225,000 For Oil Manager; Fail To Specify Which Limb Gets How Much

Who said that it’s impossible to find a well-paid job with today’s economy? Apparently, all you need is some knowledge of oil, nerves of steel and a bullet-proof vest or two, and you’re good to go!

“Quite a number of eyebrows were raised on Sunday when ISIS militants advertised for a job offer within the newly-founded ISIS oil industry. Reports say that the jihadist group is struggling to maintain and look after the oil fields they captured throughout Syria and Iraq.

“Apparently, this is why they’re on the market (black market, that is) for a new manager of the oil refineries; not only that, but the militants are also willing to pay $225,000 a year for the job!

““The Sunni hardliner group has triggered a lot of debates lately regarding their source of income. That being said, they failed to mention how the $225K will be divided for the new oil manager. Our estimates are that the body will probably get around $200K, whereas the $25K will go to the head. But, these are just estimates; the real situation could vary significantly”, said Todd Ebitz, a CIA spokesman.

“Then again, depending on how they decide to mutilate the unfortunate idiot who actually applies for the job, they could also go with $50K per limb, and leave the center of the poor man’s body without any compensation. They’re pretty creative, those terrorists, and we’ve learned not to be surprised by anything they come up with”, Ebitz added.

“According to the announcement made by the jihadi group, “the successful applicant will be working under severe circumstances in one of the 12 oil fields in Iraq and Syria that have been captured.”
Well, at least it won’t be one of those boring desk jobs.