Right-wing televangelist and End Times prepper Jim Bakker hosted an election night broadcast at which jubilation erupted once the networks began officially declaring that Donald Trump had won. “Donald Trump is president!” Bakker declared, as music began playing and audience members danced in the aisles with joy. Once things calmed down a bit, Bakker stated that Trump’s election was “the greatest miracle I have ever seen.”
“I gotta be honest with you, even though I was cheering for him with all of my heart, deep down I was convinced it would never happen, I feared that Hillary Clinton’s lobby was too strong and that she’d paid off voters throughout the country to vote for her instead,” he told the crowd. “I genuinely was prepared for a whole lot of disappointment at the end of the night, I’m not going to lie. And this is coming from someone who’s been an optimist all his life.”
He continued, “And I really have no other way of explaining Trump’s victory to myself or others than to file it under genuine, bonafide God’s work. I’ve tried to think rationally about it, I’ve tried a ton of other explanations and reasons, but at the end of the day, elections are supposed to be won thanks to huge numbers of voters, and to be quite honest – I really don’t believe, not for a second, that so many Americans actually went out and voted for Donald Trump to be the next President of America.”
“So, God must have gotten tired of establishment personnel ruining the country year after year, especially given everything that’s happened in the last four years. I’m talking about same-sex marriage, LGBTQ rights, the Iran deal and all that…If I were Him, I’d be all over this country, too. And truth be told – Donald Trump probably would not have been my first choice as someone I’d use to try to shake things up, but I guess he was just at the right place at the right time. Somehow, I’m guessing that’s also how he ended up becoming a billionaire,” Bakker said.
“Furthermore,” the televangelist added, “If you consider the fact that our country has roughly 320 million people, and you take away a certain percentage of that that didn’t want to vote at all, that leaves some 150-160 million Americans who wanted this man to be their president. That fact, despite me being a believer, is just mind-boggling to me. When you take into account all the trash talk, all the scandals, all the bad words and bad blood between him and other candidates, and you put all of that together – come on, it had to be God. It just had to be.”
“Speaking of which – I think it was about darn time God changed his MO,” Bakker joked. “I mean, in Biblical times, he had Noah and then made him go through all that trouble of building an ark and then getting all the animals onboard and then destroyed Sodom and Gomorrah and all that. On the other hand, he must have finally caught up with the times and figured politics is much easier in terms of communication with the human race. The thing we have to ask ourselves now is, what’s He going to have Donald Trump do in his name as the new President,” the televangelist concluded.