NewsLo
NewsLo
  • Home
  • Business
    • Accounting
    • Advertising
    • Branding
    • Career
    • Cyber Security
    • Entrepreneur
    • Jobs
    • Management
    • Marketing
    • Non Profit
    • Sales
    • Search Engine Optimization
    • Web Design
  • Finance
    • Banking
    • Bankruptcy
    • Budgeting
    • Credit
    • Debt
    • Estate Wills & Trusts
    • Home Improvements
    • Law
    • Loans
    • Personal Finance
    • Taxes
    • Shopping
  • Investment
    • Crypto Currency
    • Gold & Silver
    • Hard Assets
    • Real Estate
    • Retirement
    • Stocks & Bonds
    • Trading
  • Real Estate
    • Buying
    • Selling
    • Commercial Construction
    • Construction Law
    • Home Improvement
    • Loans
    • Property Management
    • Real Estate Laws
    • Rental Property
  • Insurance
    • Auto Insurance
    • Commercial Real Estate Insurance
    • Crop Insurance
    • Dental Insurance
    • Disability Insurance
    • Health Insurance
    • Home Owners Insurance
    • Identity Theft Protection
    • Insurance Law
    • Investment Insurance
    • Life Insurance
    • Pet Insurance
    • Renters Insurance
  • Contact Us
  • Politics
  • Today's Headlines

Joe Biden Leaves Obama Administration to Manage Duck Tour Business

  • August 26, 2014
  • NewsLo
  • No comments
  • 2 minute read
Total
0
Shares
0
0
0

WASHINGTON — Vice President Joe Biden knows his way around the capital city well enough to see that the Ready for Hillary wave is swamping his ambitions for higher office. Rather than take a back seat, Biden has decided to leave the administration to become a captain of industry.

“Is that the vice president?” asked Maria Felt, a 42-year-old tourist from Nebraska, as she stood in awe of the traffic jam caused by Biden’s procession down Pennsylvania Avenue. Sure enough, it was Biden wearing his trademark grin, but his armored limousine had been replaced by a brightly colored amphibious tour bus.

“Quack for us,” Felt’s 10-year-old daughter implored. Biden, the newly installed executive vice president of D.C. Duck Tours, happily obliged. Freed from the restraints of political handlers, the lifejacketed septuagenarian offered to give both mother and daughter a “big, wet smooch.”

A longtime advocate for public transportation, Biden decided to take the helm of the tour company after political strategist and Obama advisor David Plouffe announced he would become Uber’s senior vice president of policy and strategy.

Uber, a ridesharing start-up, hopes it will benefit from Plouffe’s data-crunching abilities and political acumen to fight the taxi lobby and other regulatory roadblocks to the company’s rapid expansion.

Biden, for his part, hopes to “make Washington more accessible to average folk” by guiding them down K Street and the Potomac River with his avuncular—if occasionally handsy and rambling—approach.

“The power I had as ‘veep’ is nothing compared to the V-8 turbocharged Cummings VTA 903 diesel engine inside this baby,” purred Biden as he raised the gangplank and cracked open another beer.

Plouffe congratulated the outgoing vice president on his new undertaking and suggested he call Uber, should he ever need a sober driver. “Uber is making transportation safer,” claimed Plouffe. “It’s providing jobs; it’s cutting down on drunk and distracted driving. I think the mission is really important.”

First lady Michelle Obama also sees promise in Biden’s stewardship. “While Barack and I are sad to see Joe leave the administration, we’re thrilled that he’s encouraging more Americans to ‘Get Moving’ and visit their nation’s capital.”

The first lady’s office indicated she would also like to make clear that, “If the business venture doesn’t work out for some reason, Biden will have to find somewhere else to crash because the Lincoln Bedroom is under renovation for the foreseeable future.”

Total
0
Shares
Share 0
Tweet 0
Pin it 0
Related Topics
  • Biden leaves
  • Biden out
  • Bidens departure
  • Newslo
  • newslo biden
NewsLo

Previous Article
‘Dating Naked’ Contestant Gets Plastic Surgery to Permanently Pixelate Genitals 1
  • Entertainment
  • Today's Headlines

‘Dating Naked’ Contestant Gets Plastic Surgery to Permanently Pixelate Genitals

  • August 25, 2014
  • NewsLo
View Post
Next Article
Fox News Claims Michael Brown was Armed With ‘Large, Black Body’ 2
  • Today's Headlines
  • US

Fox News Claims Michael Brown was Armed With ‘Large, Black Body’

  • August 26, 2014
  • NewsLo
View Post
You May Also Like
fun safety meeting ideas
View Post
  • Politics

Best 4 Fun Safety Meeting Ideas to Engage Everyone on Safety Topics

  • NewsLo
  • March 8, 2020
what do politicians do
View Post
  • Politics

What Do Politicians Do and Where Does Their Money Come From?

  • NewsLo
  • February 29, 2020
ted cruz religion refugees
View Post
  • Featured
  • Politics
  • US
  • US-Feature

Ted Cruz News: “Helping Texans Is Not Like Helping New Orleans, Hurricane Sandy Was Righteous”

  • NewsLo
  • August 28, 2017
Taxes in Kansas Republican’s Bill Aims To Ban Women From Wearing Colorful Skirts Because “People Are Genuinely Mistaking Them For Trans-People” 3
View Post
  • Featured
  • Politics
  • Politics-Feature

Taxes in Kansas Republican’s Bill Aims To Ban Women From Wearing Colorful Skirts Because “People Are Genuinely Mistaking Them For Trans-People”

  • NewsLo
  • July 15, 2017
Trump Compares Ivanka To Syrian Children: “She’s Also Suffered A Lot As My Daughter, Had To Move Between Countries All The Time Just Like Them” 4
View Post
  • US
  • Latest Lies
  • Today's Headlines
  • US-Feature

Trump Compares Ivanka To Syrian Children: “She’s Also Suffered A Lot As My Daughter, Had To Move Between Countries All The Time Just Like Them”

  • NewsLo
  • July 9, 2017
Trump Attacks Buzz Aldrin Back: “It Was All Fake News, There’s No Proof That Man Ever Came Close To The Moon” 5
View Post
  • Featured
  • Politics
  • Politics-Feature

Trump Attacks Buzz Aldrin Back: “It Was All Fake News, There’s No Proof That Man Ever Came Close To The Moon”

  • NewsLo
  • July 4, 2017
Eric Trump: “Nepotism Is How Americans Repay My Father For The Pro-Bono Work He’s Doing As President” 6
View Post
  • Politics-Feature
  • Politics

Eric Trump: “Nepotism Is How Americans Repay My Father For The Pro-Bono Work He’s Doing As President”

  • NewsLo
  • June 28, 2017
Paul Ryan: “22 Million Americans Choose To Be Poor, So It’s Their Own Problem If They Can’t Afford To Be Healthy” 7
View Post
  • Politics
  • Featured
  • Latest Lies
  • Politics-Feature

Paul Ryan: “22 Million Americans Choose To Be Poor, So It’s Their Own Problem If They Can’t Afford To Be Healthy”

  • NewsLo
  • June 28, 2017

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

You must be logged in to post a comment.

NewsLo
  • Today’s Headlines
  • Featured
  • US
  • Politics
  • World
  • Media
  • Sports
  • Privacy Policy

Input your search keywords and press Enter.