NewsLo
  • Today’s Headlines
  • Featured
  • US
  • Politics
  • World
  • Media
  • Sports
  • Privacy Policy
Subscribe
NewsLo
NewsLo
  • Home
  • Business
    • Accounting
    • Advertising
    • Branding
    • Career
    • Customer Service
    • Cyber Security
    • Entrepreneur
    • Jobs
    • Management
    • Marketing
    • Non Profit
    • Search Engine Optimization
    • Sales
    • Web Design
  • Finance
    • Banking
    • Bankruptcy
    • Budgeting
    • Credit
    • Debt
    • Estate Wills & Trusts
    • Home Improvements
    • Law
    • Loans
    • Personal Finance
    • Taxes
    • Shopping
  • Investment
    • Crypto Currency
    • Gold & Silver
    • Hard Assets
    • Real Estate
    • Retirement
    • Stocks & Bonds
    • Trading
  • Real Estate
    • Buying
    • Selling
    • Commercial Construction
    • Construction Law
    • Home Improvement
    • Loans
    • Property Management
    • Real Estate Laws
    • Rental Property
  • Insurance
    • Auto Insurance
    • Commercial Real Estate Insurance
    • Crop Insurance
    • Dental Insurance
    • Disability Insurance
    • Health Insurance
    • Home Owners Insurance
    • Identity Theft Protection
    • Insurance Law
    • Investment Insurance
  • Contact Us
  • World

John McAfee Becomes Human Anti-Virus

  • December 12, 2012
  • News Lo

GUATEMALA CITY – The most unusual murder mystery this year has just gotten more peculiar. While avoiding police in Guatemala, anti-virus guru John McAfee has transformed into an actual walking, talking anti-virus program.

“We’ve never seen anything like this,” said Dr. Adolfo Felipe. “It seems that so much of his interest in creating anti-virus software has re-wired his brain into an actual anti-virus program. It truly is amazing.”

McAfee’s paranoid tendencies have mirrored his most secure anti-virus package, leading him to check up on police activity, pop up whenever he thinks something is wrong, and even delete memories that he deems to be malicious.

The official diagnosis of his anti-virus transformation came when McAfee was rushed to the hospital for heart problems. When doctors asked what may have caused his heart complications, he said he had “14 infected files.” He further clarified that “one of the infected files is murder and [he needs] a new hard drive to fix it. It can’t be deleted.”

“The recent heart attack saga involving Mr. McAfee stemmed from an attempt to delete his most malicious memories from his brain,” said head surgeon Mario Ernesto. “These infected files are slowing down his system and he’ll eventually need a whole new brain to be back at 100% functionality.”

It’s rumored that McAfee is currently experimenting with hallucinogens in an attempt to create a new brain.

Related Topics
  • John McAfee and vice
  • John McAfee going crazy
  • John McAfee human antivirus
  • John McAfee movie
  • John McAfee Virus
  • McAfee held in Guatemala
  • Newslo satire and global humor
Avatar of News Lo
News Lo

Welcome to Newslo! Our team of dedicated authors strives to deliver the latest and most important info on finance while infusing a dose of our own style to give you a unique experience. Whether you're looking for in-depth discussions on investments or solid finance tips, we have something for everyone. Our goal is to deliver you the best possible content. So, keep reading our articles and give us your feedback!

Previous Article
  • New York

MTA Rolls Out Crime-Ridden Vintage Subway Trains

  • December 12, 2012
  • News Lo
View Post
Next Article
  • US

Soup Kitchens Prepare to Accommodate Increased Demand for College Recommendation Letters

  • December 13, 2012
  • News Lo
View Post
NewsLo
  • Today’s Headlines
  • Featured
  • US
  • Politics
  • World
  • Media
  • Sports
  • Privacy Policy
Navigating the world of finance, one step at a time.

Input your search keywords and press Enter.