LOS ANGELES — Hot on the heels of announcing her pregnancy with boyfriend Kanye West, Kim Kardashian has signed a $3,000,000.00 deal for her unborn child, who the couple has temporarily named “Bay Bayeeeeeee.” The reality show will take place in the Kimye home and actually inside Kim Kardashian’s uterus with a new “vag-cam,” a tiny recording device that will run inside via a power cable strapped to her leg and created by the producers at E! Entertainment News. The show is being executive produced by matriarch Kris Jenner and the Devil.
According to sources, the program, currently being called “Untitled More Frickin’ Cash Project,” will follow the ups and downs of Kim’s pregnancy and her unborn child. Plot lines may include Kim’s morning sickness, gaining weight and mood swings. With the vag-cam, viewers will be able to witness events like and baby’s fingers growing, it kicking the belly, and drunken cat fights and hook up’s with other organs in the body.
“Who knows what wonders we’ll witness!” boasted a programming director at E! “The Kardashians are such a tight knit cash cow…” he cleared his throat, “excuse me, family… that the world wants to see how they expand and grow as a unit and also we love, love, love money”.
Using power of attorney to represent her famous fetus, Kardashian reportedly signed the contract using a baby foot stamp covered in black ink. It is rumored that “Bay Bayeeeeee” already has a deal for its own fragrance lines for women and men: Baby Mama and Baby Daddy, for those who want that Kimye stink.
Kim’s ex-husband, Kris Humphries, whom she famously married on Kim’s Fairytale Wedding, was quoted as saying, “Are you kidding me? This is bullshit. I want a show, too. Hell, I’ll nail Bristol Palin if it’ll get me back on TV. Come on!” Meanwhile, VH-1 is developing a reality show with Jessica Simpson, who is pregnant with her second child, titled “Who Gives A Shit?”