Kanye West Fathered Baby Born To Catholic Nun

ROME — Kanye West today announced that he is the father of the baby boy born to a Catholic nun in the small Italian city of Rieti, but the controversial megastar, apparently unaware of how miracles work, still hasn’t ruled out the possibility of a modern day virgin birth.

“I’m not saying I slept with her, but I am the reason she got pregnant,” West told Italy’s Corriere Della Sera. According to West, the pair met when he worked at Italian fashion house Fendi in Rome in 2009. “All it takes is a few Yeezy’s in your sofa. I don’t call them Red Octobers for nothing, you know,” West said of his outrageously abiding seed.

The 31-year-old nun, originally from El Salvador, was rushed to the hospital last week after she experienced stomach cramps. A few hours later she gave birth to West’s second child, whom the couple named Francis after one of the nicknames for iconic rapper Biggie Smalls.

“I do not feel guilt. I will be keeping him and bringing him up,” said the nun.

The mayor of Rieti, Simone Petrangeli, has asked the public and media to respect the woman’s privacy.

Pope Francis, who has made headlines with his progressive stance on several moral issues, praised West for “taking on the responsibilities of a father,” but also chastised the rapper for his “incessant hounding of ascetic women.”

West claims to have fornicated with nuns several times throughout his discography, but fans and critics always dismissed such musings as mere braggadocio.

West was adamant that the birth would not deter him from marrying fiancée Kim Kardashian. “Kim has always thought of herself as a religious person, and she’s always been supportive of all of my creative endeavors outside of our relationship.”