Kentucky To Boost Ken Ham’s Ark Budget Because “It’s America’s Last Shot At Redemption”

Creationist Ken Ham offered a sneak peek of his massive Noah’s Ark replica – which he said will be far more realistic than the cartoon “bathtub arks” depicted in children’s books. “When I’ve taken people down to the construction site of the life-size Ark in Williamstown, Kentucky, many have exclaimed something like, ‘I never realized Noah’s Ark was so huge! It’s awe-inspiring,’” Ham wrote in a blog post. The controversial religious theme park, which was granted $18 million in tax incentives by Kentucky lawmakers, is expected to open July 7, and Ham promises it could draw up to 1.4 million visitors each year.

However, it would seem that the Ark project has secured an increase in the already considerable $18 million budget, thanks to Kentucky state legislators. Affectionately dubbed “America’s Last Shot at Redemption,” the project’s budget is rumored to have been boosted with an additional $10 million, all thanks to the fact that “it might serve as a temple of chastity and religious purification,” according to a source in the Kentucky Department of Revenue.

“I’m not at liberty to discuss any changes that might or might not have been made to the project budget,” Ham told media outlets Tuesday, and added, “but I can say that, if there were, they will be put to good use, because this country has gone so far down the drain when it comes to our faith in God and our history that it will take us years to climb back up. And I am proud to say that the Noah’s Ark project is a step in the right direction, which is why it would make perfect sense to make it a big step and not a tiny one.”

Commenting on the alleged “temple of chastity and religious purification” aspect of the equation, Ham stated that “there have been some clauses in the contract that I might not have been fond of at first, but have changed my mind since.” He said, “One of the conditions set forth by Kentucky lawmakers was that, upon completion, the Ark would have several other uses besides a traditional tourist attraction. One of those conditions had to do with conservative Christian religious views, including using the Ark as a place of worship and prayer, where people from all over the country and the world could come to seek out wisdom, peace and strength.”

“Of course, I was against it at first,” Ham continued, and added, “but when I got to thinking, I have to say I changed my mind. Seeing how lost our people are and how far they’ve gone astray, I felt like this would be an ideal opportunity to not just offer knowledge about our origins as a species, but also guidance and hope. And when I thought about the Ark that way, I realized it really is America’s last shot at redemption. Because, let’s face it – with the number of atheists, agnostics and millions of other hopeless people we have today in this country, we need something grandiose to turn the tide of this evolutionary war. And the Ark is perfect for that. Besides, it’s not like the churches in this country are getting the job done.”

“So, all in all, we’re going to be having families with children, couples, kids from schools who will be visiting on field trips and so on and so forth, there’s going to be a ton of tourists. But, at the same time, we’re also going to be hosting mass prayers, lectures on the creation of Earth and history. We’ll also have resident officials and employees whose job it’ll be to offer a friendly ear and shoulder to cry on to whoever is in need of such comfort. We’re also thinking about setting up a suicide hotline, but we’ve got a while to go before that. Basically, we’re planning to do for the American people what Noah did for the animals of this world thousands of years ago. We are recreating his amazing feat, only with different kinds of animals, so to speak,” Ham concluded.