NewsLo
  • Today’s Headlines
  • Featured
  • US
  • Politics
  • World
  • Media
  • Sports
  • Privacy Policy
Subscribe
NewsLo
NewsLo
  • Home
  • Business
    • Accounting
    • Advertising
    • Branding
    • Career
    • Customer Service
    • Cyber Security
    • Entrepreneur
    • Jobs
    • Management
    • Marketing
    • Non Profit
    • Search Engine Optimization
    • Sales
    • Web Design
  • Finance
    • Banking
    • Bankruptcy
    • Budgeting
    • Credit
    • Debt
    • Estate Wills & Trusts
    • Home Improvements
    • Law
    • Loans
    • Personal Finance
    • Taxes
    • Shopping
  • Investment
    • Crypto Currency
    • Gold & Silver
    • Hard Assets
    • Real Estate
    • Retirement
    • Stocks & Bonds
    • Trading
  • Real Estate
    • Buying
    • Selling
    • Commercial Construction
    • Construction Law
    • Home Improvement
    • Loans
    • Property Management
    • Real Estate Laws
    • Rental Property
  • Insurance
    • Auto Insurance
    • Commercial Real Estate Insurance
    • Crop Insurance
    • Dental Insurance
    • Disability Insurance
    • Health Insurance
    • Home Owners Insurance
    • Identity Theft Protection
    • Insurance Law
    • Investment Insurance
  • Contact Us
  • Today's Headlines
  • World

As ‘True Blood’ Nears Finale, Kim Jong Un Vows Retaliation

  • June 27, 2014
  • News Lo
Kim Jong Un
(Photo Credit: KCNA)
Total
0
Shares
0
0
0

PYONGYANG, North Korea — North Korean dictator Kim Jong Un has vowed “unprecedented mayhem” if HBO does not bring back its hit vampire drama “True Blood” for an eighth season.

Having apparently missed the memo last September, sources say the supreme leader expressed shock and outrage after discovering that the show had been cancelled.

The dictator has been showing increased interest in American pop culture as of late. On Wednesday, a spokesman for the regime promised a “resolute and merciless response” if the U.S. did not ban the James Franco / Seth Rogen comedy “The Interview” from theaters.

The film, which is scheduled for release on October 12, tells the story of two talk show hosts who are recruited to assassinate Kim Jong Un.

Asked why the regime felt such harsh words were necessary, an official close to the despot said, “Dear Leader will never join the ‘Don’t Cancel True Blood’ Facebook group, nor will he sign the Change.org petition. Such actions would be shameful signs of weakness, and are not becoming of the true sanity of DPRK, which does not express mental unawareness or confusion.”

The spokesman went on to say that the “full force of DPRK’s illustrious muscularity will be utilized” if the show did not continue, declining to explain what, exactly, he meant by that.

The regime also had a few suggestions for the show’s writers. “Lafayette really needs to be turned,” said the spokesman. “No other bitch on that show expresses such excellent ferocity as La-La. Girl would make a damn fine fanger.”

“And what’s up with Tara?” he continued. “A character with such furniture-like depth and verbose tentacles of expression simply deserves more.”

The representative then reiterated Kim’s firm position on the matter. “The foul dogs who hold HBO’s sacred reigns of programming are nothing but spiteful, horrendous slime from the bowels of crying children. If Pam, Bill and Sookie are not brought back in 2015, precious ruler will not hesitate to unleash his mighty venom upon the stinking rodents of the West.”

Total
0
Shares
Share 0
Tweet 0
Pin it 0
Related Topics
  • Kim Jong Un
  • News North Korea
  • Newslo
  • North Korea news
Avatar of News Lo
News Lo

Welcome to Newslo! Our team of dedicated authors strives to deliver the latest and most important info on finance while infusing a dose of our own style to give you a unique experience. Whether you're looking for in-depth discussions on investments or solid finance tips, we have something for everyone. Our goal is to deliver you the best possible content. So, keep reading our articles and give us your feedback!

Previous Article
  • US

New Law Allows Protests Inside Abortion Clinic Operating Rooms

  • June 27, 2014
  • News Lo
View Post
Next Article
drv2
  • Today's Headlines
  • US

Truckers to Federal Government: ‘Keep Your Laws off My Body’

  • June 27, 2014
  • News Lo
View Post
NewsLo
  • Today’s Headlines
  • Featured
  • US
  • Politics
  • World
  • Media
  • Sports
  • Privacy Policy
Navigating the world of finance, one step at a time.

Input your search keywords and press Enter.