King Praises FDA Standing Up for Traditional Fats

WASHINGTON — In response to the Food and Drug Administration’s ruling that trans fats were fundamentally unsafe, Congressman Steve King (R-Iowa) praised the regulatory agency, calling the move “a brave defense of traditional fat against deviant lifestyles.”

As a proud and unapologetic opponent of legal equality for the LGBT community, Rep. King seems to have confused trans fats as a type of transgender lifestyle. King once claimed that the Employment Non-Discrimination Act (ENDA), recently passed in the Senate, would force employers to hire homosexual employees, and has asserted that homosexuality “is a self-identified behavior, not an immutable characteristic.”

The F.D.A.’s Thursday announcement should pave the way for the unsaturated fat to be completely eliminated in food. The report concluded that although trans fat consumption has decreased over time, the overwhelming consensus of the scientific and medical community is that no amount of trans fats is safe. King, however, seemed less focused on the content of trans fat than he was the label ‘trans.’

“I offer my praise and thanks to the F.D.A. for taking a moral stand in our sick and secular society,” a press release from King’s office read. “This ruling serves to announce that we will no longer tolerate abnormal lifestyles being jammed down the throats of our children. Labeling so-called trans fats as ‘unsafe’ is an acknowledgement of the unhealthy nature of alternative ways of life.”

King has also made numerous anti-immigrant statements during his time in office. In July, he claimed that for every undocumented immigrant who becomes a valedictorian, “there’s another 100 out there that weigh 130 pounds and they’ve got calves the size of cantaloupes because they’re hauling 75 pounds of marijuana across the desert.”

This week he claimed that he would consider attempting to oust Speaker John Boehner (R-Ohio) should the latter bring immigration reform to the floor. King linked the F.D.A.’s ruling on fats to his anti-immigrant crusade as well.

“The next step this government needs to take is to crack down on illegal fats,” King’s statement concluded. “We need to make sure fats from other countries are not stealing obesity from hardworking American fats. For too long we’ve let fats from foreign countries sap the working class. I call upon the F.D.A. to end any special privileges these criminal fats may be enjoying.”