ELKTON, Maryland – The Maryland Ku Klux Klan will hold a public meeting later this month in the Elk Room of the Cecil County Government Building to circulate a petition calling for the impeachment of President Barack Obama and to plan for the forced deportation of all non-whites in the country.
“Barack Hussein Obama is an illegal president. He needs to be removed from office,” said Imperial Wizard Richard Preston. “We also want ‘Obamacare’ shut down. It’s against citizen’s rights. On top of that, we want the laws toughened on immigration. And we need to remove the blacks, browns, and whatever other colors are out there. It’s a lot to plan in one meeting, so we might go late.”
Preston said the group hopes to debate several ideas on how to round up all non-white individuals in America and where, exactly, they should be shipped. “The obvious destination is Mexico, of course, but there’s a lot more room up in Canada,” he said. “Though there’s this one guy on the internet with a very interesting proposal to shove them all into the Pacific and Atlantic. I hope he’s coming to the meeting.”
Maryland State Police 1st Sgt. Jimmy Russell said that the FBI had notified law enforcement officials about the meeting. “They said to expect from 40 to 200 people,” Russell explained. “Any more than that and they’d fill up the Elk Room and have folks standing in the hallways, and they don’t have a permit for the hallways.”
Despite believing that Barack Obama is an illegal president and calling for his removal from office, Imperial Wizard Preston said his group is not political in nature. “We’re just a group of concerned citizens,” he explained. “There’s lots of good farmers and old people who understand if we don’t straighten out, we’re not going to be a country anymore.”
According to the group’s website, membership is open to anyone who is 100% heterosexual, of European heritage, and born in the U.S. unless they are Jews, Muslims, Satanists, or communists. Yet Preston insists the KKK (also known as the Confederate White Knights) is not a hate group.
“You don’t have to hate someone to see their skin is the wrong color and to then take steps to round them up at gunpoint and kick them out of the country,” he said. “You just need to view them as less than human.”