Knicks-Nets Rivalry Already Over

NEW YORK — It’s only been about two months into the Brooklyn Nets era, but their rivalry with the Knicks has already disappeared. Or, as Knicks fan Katie Mansfield described it, “It’s faded away down one of those dark, eerie streets you’re too afraid to go down when you’re deep in Brooklyn.”

The Nets pulled off a tough overtime win over the Knicks in their first game together, but the Knicks won the next two outings over Brooklyn. Carmelo Anthony scored 45 and 31 points in each of those wins.

“If you’re the Nets, it has to be disheartening to already know that Carmelo will be embarrassing you for many years to come,” said Knicks fan Tristan Patel. “It’s becoming very much like the ‘Chipper Jones-Mets’ relationship… yeah, that brutal.”

“My big brother used to do dangerous wrestling moves on me when I was little and forced me to suck the teat of the cows in our family barn,” said Nets owner Mikhail Prokhorov. “Now it feels like that nightmare is happening all over again with the Knicks.”

There seems to be a severe lack of rivalry even between Knick and Net fans. “That’s probably because there are no Nets fans,” argues Patel. “The Knicks being better than the Nets right isn’t even enjoyable because there are no Net fans to humiliate. Even when you think you find one, he or she says, ‘I’m not really a Nets fan, I just kind of like the hat.’”

Since the encouraging first month of the season, the Nets have gone 5-11 and fired their head coach Avery Johnson. They now have their target set on Phil Jackson to fill in, who has only laughed hysterically and hung up each time the Nets have called.