Vegas Police Officer on a Crusade to End Premarital Sex by Offering 24-Hour Marriage Licenses for Teens

LAS VEGAS – Following a Metro Police co-sponsored pro-abstinence event, “Choose Purity,” one Las Vegas police officer has come up with a radical new solution to the dangers of premarital sex: offering 24-hour marriage licenses to teenagers.

Though Metro Police spent no money on the “Choose Purity” event,which 215 children and their parents attended, it was organized by Officer Regina Coward, president of the Nevada Black Police Association. The goal of the event was to highlight the dangers of sex before marriage for young girls. The dangers: sexual assault, drugs, gangs, prostitution, and death.

“Yeah, because that’s what’s happening,” said Coward when asked if they were, in fact, trying to send the message that premarital sex leads to death.

Many have been critical of the event, calling it little more than fear mongering directed at young women. They were also quick to point out that research shows that teens who take virginity pledges are just as likely to have sex as their peers who don’t, but are less likely to practice safe sex.

“We’re not so naive as to believe that young people are going to stop having sex,” said Coward. “We just want to eliminate the dangers of teen sex by making it pure before God. Which is why I propose we adopt a policy of granting teens 24-hour marriage licenses.”

Coward plans to present her proposal to the Las Vegas City Council by the end of the month, but she was happy to discuss the details. The plan is to allow teenagers to apply for the short-term marriage license at any of the city’s infamous shotgun wedding chapels. In Las Vegas, a person can receive a marriage license within minutes after submitting a short form to the marriage license bureau along with a photo ID and a $60 fee. This fee would be greatly reduced for teenagers seeking a marriage license. Coward believes this would effectively end premarital sex in the city.

“We live in the marriage capital of the world,” continued Coward. “The infrastructure is in place to make sex before marriage and all of the tragedy that comes with it a thing of the past in Las Vegas. This is a wholesome city where the sanctity of marriage is celebrated, and we should be encouraging this belief in young people—not one of promiscuity.”

Coward’s proposal is ambitious, but many question the logic behind it and instead suggest comprehensive and realistic sex education with an emphasis on safety.

“This is about safety,” retorts Coward. “This is about saving lives and saving souls. This is about helping our young women become empowered through purity and know that they don’t have to rush into sex. But if they do, they should just get married. It’s Vegas baby!”