SEATTLE — University of Washington freshman and self-described libertarian Adam Meyers reported Wednesday that, no, he does not see any irony in that. Although he receives thousands of dollars in financial aid and federally-backed Pell grants to attend his state-subsidized university, Meyers insists – without the slightest hint of self-awareness – that the government needs to stay out of the pockets of hardworking Americans like himself.
“Taxation is the same as forced labor,” Lawson asserted during his Philosophy 101 lecture Wednesday morning, demonstrating complete disregard for the implications of this statement.
According to school records, Meyers is an active member of the Ron Paul Revolution student group, which accepts school monies to cover operations expenses and pizza parties. “We’re about stopping the entitlement culture in this country,” explained chapter president Glen Hartzell. “Now somebody hand me a slice of the pepperoni. Which I deserve.”
During office hours Wednesday, Meyers railed against welfare queens and Wall Street bailouts. “What’s with this country? What happened to our spirit of self-reliance?” Meyers reportedly asked his Philosophy TA. “People need to pull themselves up by their boot-straps and – sorry, what was the answer to number four?”
Classmates say they are eagerly awaiting the upcoming unit on affirmative action, during which Meyers will surely tell the all-white class about the rampant discrimination against Caucasian males.