Limbaugh Announces Switch to Children’s Programming After Winning Children’s Book Award

PALM BEACH, Fla. – Conservative Radio Host Rush Limbaugh stunned his listeners yesterday with the announcement that starting June 1, 2014 he would be changing the format of his long-running radio program from one of far-right, political commentary to one focusing on children’s programming. He claimed that he’d been considering the change for some time, but was pushed to a decision after he was named Author of the Year at this year’s Children’s and Teen Choice Book Awards.

He won the award for his book Rush Revere and The Brave Pilgrims: Time-Travel Adventures with Exceptional Americans. The book, which features Rush Revere and Liberty, his talking horse, travelling back in time to visit the pilgrims, allowed Limbaugh to beat finalists Veronica Roth (the Divergent series), Rachel Renee Russell (the Dork Diaries series), Rick Riordan (the Percy Jackson series), and 2012 and 2013 winner Jeff Kinney (the Diary of a Wimpy Kid series).

In what is billed as the only literary award decided on by children, the finalists are chosen based entirely on the number of copies a book sold. Once finalists are announced, the winners are chosen by children and teens voting online. However, Robin Adelson, executive director of the Children’s Book Council that co-founded the awards seven years ago, admitted there were ways an adult could easily vote numerous times.

“Every one of our finalists gets fake votes every year,” Adelson told The Associated Press. “We like to think that’s the enthusiasm of adults who love children’s books and not a choreographed marketing ploy by a soulless blowhard turning what used to be a celebration of children’s literature into a complete farce.”

“The kids have spoken, and they want more Rush,” said Limbaugh. “Folks, it’s been a good run with the politics and what not, but it’s time for me to turn over a new leaf and entertain a new generation of Dittoheads.”

Limbaugh said his new show will be a mix of read-alongs, repetitive rhyming songs, and clowns.