Mayor Bloomberg Demands President Obama Call Him Back

NEW YORK — In a press conference Friday, New York City Mayor Michael Bloomberg called on President Obama to respond to his numerous voicemails so they can hang out.

“I am calling on the president to act now and call me back before my feelings are permanently hurt,” declared Bloomberg. “I have called President Obama four times already and left two voice messages, without even a text message from him. I need the president to pay more attention to me.”

President Obama was unavailable for comment Monday, but White House Press Secretary Jay Carney told reporters in Washington D.C. that the president is well aware of Mayor Bloomberg’s numerous attempts to speak with him.

“Mayor Bloomberg needs to realize that the president has a lot on his plate right now,” said Carney. ” President Obama is very busy running the country .

When pressed further by reporters, Carney refused to give specifics, but did clarify that Mayor Bloomberg’s calls did not have anything to do with public policy.

“Mayor Bloomberg left a couple voice messages for President Obama asking the president to call him back immediately,” explained Carney.”From what I understand, the mayor wanted to visit the president to hang out. He mentioned going bowling, grabbing a bite to eat, maybe seeing a movie. Unfortunately President Obama just isn’t interested in being friends with Mayor Bloomberg at this time. The president feels Mayor Bloomberg is kind of creepy and annoying.”

As New Yorkers have learned, Mayor Bloomberg is not concerned with whether or not he is liked. This is the same mayor who is banning the sale of sweetened drinks in containers larger than 16 ounces.

“As the mayor of New York City I can call press conferences whenever I want,” exclaimed Bloomberg. “If President Obama won’t return my calls then I will just use my power as mayor to call him out in the media. I would like to hang out with President Obama this weekend if possible. I would love to go out and see a movie, preferably The Hobbit, but I’m not opposed to hanging out at the White House and talking politics. If I need to pay to become friends with the president, I will. I’m very, very rich.”

Despite Mayor Bloomberg’s pleas for a response from the president, Obama has no immediate plans to return the mayor’s calls.