McCain Visits Syrian Rebels in Effort to Turn Them Against Obama

WASHINGTON — Senator John McCain quietly journeyed into Syria on Monday to engage in minimally publicized talks with key leaders of the Free Syrian Army. The Senator, who is known for his opinion that the US should do more to arm and give military support to the rebels, assured the public when he returned that his trip was “not meant to incite further violence” in Syria, but to “show the Syrian rebels just how incompetent Obama really is.”

The talks reportedly centered around potential solutions for the rebels’ precarious position, and included a scathing indictment of Obama’s non-interventionist stance, along with the promise that McCain and like-minded Republicans were doing all they could to help the rebel cause.

“Mr. McCain was very supportive,” said General Salim Idris, leader of the Supreme Military Council of the Free Syrian Army, “especially when he spoke of his views on the conflict with Assad. When he reached the part about President Obama, however, the Senator got a bit carried away.”

McCain went on at length, said observers, to describe his plans to establish a no-fly zone in Syria, provide the rebels with advanced weaponry, to initiate air strikes against Assad’s forces and Hezbollah, and to make sure no Syrian rebels supported Democrats in upcoming US elections.

Colonel Qasim Saad al-Din, a regional military commander of the rebel forces, said he appreciated McCain’s advice and perspective, “but did not understand his references to President Obama’s mistakes on immigration reform, or why he kept mentioning Bhengazi, or how Obama possibly could have been the one who put Assad in power to start with.”

“I think the Senator from Arizona has his own little revolution planned, eh?” Said General Idris fondly, patting McCain on the shoulder as he stepped back into his jet (which, incidentally, is named Air Force Should’ve Won.)

The White House has declined to comment on the trip, told reporters to direct all questions to McCain’s office.

The Syrian leaders then turned to address Monday’s other major developments, including the lifting of the European Union’s arms embargo with the Syrian rebels and the consequent commitment by Russia to continue arming the government forces, for which McCain, calling the rebel leaders from his plane shortly after takeoff, also  blamed Obama .