McCain Willing to Trade Hagel Confirmation for Sleepover at White House

WASHINGTON — Earlier this week, Senator John McCain (R-Ariz.) announced he had “significant doubts” about Obama’s choice of Sen. Chuck Hagel (R-Neb) for the Secretary of Defense position. Since then, however, McCain’s opposition appears to have softened considerably after closed-door talks with President Obama. While most experts assumed that the GOP was using Hagel’s appointment as a bargaining chip for spending cuts, the result was quite different and considered by some to be an even larger victory for Republicans. Obama announced Wednesday morning, with his arm around the shoulder of a beaming and ecstatic John McCain, that he would allow the senator to spend one night sleeping in the White House’s Master Bedroom while the Obama’s stayed elsewhere. The President even went so far as to let McCain have Senator Lindsey Graham (R-SC) come to tuck him in.

The night is expected to be a very exciting one for McCain, and should be equally thrilling for Graham. The two have worked together quite a bit recently in their vocal disapproval of Obama’s cabinet picks and foreign policy decisions. They are expected to gleefully pretend they are President and VP until almost 10:30 at night. McCain has pledged to fellow Republicans that he will bring several toys and action figures to represent his ideal cabinet picks. Lindsey Graham, after tucking McCain in, is expected to stay up and stand guard over the sleeping gentleman from Arizona. While it has not been stated explicitly, most pundits assume that Graham is planning to pretend he is guarding the Benghazi embassy.

While these concessions are undoubtedly a huge victory for Republicans, Obama was adamant that neither McCain nor anyone else in Congress would be allowed to wear his pajamas.