NewsLo 📊
NewsLo 📊
  • Home
  • Business
    • Accounting
    • Advertising
    • Branding
    • Career
    • Cyber Security
    • Entrepreneur
    • Jobs
    • Management
    • Marketing
    • Non Profit
    • Sales
    • Search Engine Optimization
    • Web Design
  • Finance
    • Banking
    • Bankruptcy
    • Budgeting
    • Credit
    • Debt
    • Estate Wills & Trusts
    • Home Improvements
    • Law
    • Loans
    • Personal Finance
    • Taxes
    • Shopping
  • Investment
    • Crypto Currency
    • Gold & Silver
    • Hard Assets
    • Real Estate
    • Retirement
    • Stocks & Bonds
    • Trading
  • Real Estate
    • Buying
    • Selling
    • Commercial Construction
    • Construction Law
    • Home Improvement
    • Loans
    • Property Management
    • Real Estate Laws
    • Rental Property
  • Insurance
    • Auto Insurance
    • Commercial Real Estate Insurance
    • Crop Insurance
    • Dental Insurance
    • Disability Insurance
    • Health Insurance
    • Home Owners Insurance
    • Identity Theft Protection
    • Insurance Law
    • Investment Insurance
    • Life Insurance
    • Pet Insurance
    • Renters Insurance
  • Contact Us
  • Media

Media Invents Devastating Meteor in Case Fiscal Cliff Resolved Amicably

  • November 19, 2012
  • NewsLo
  • No comments
  • 1 minute read
Total
0
Shares
0
0
0

NEW YORK — Fearing that Democratic and Republican leaders will break the trend and reach an agreeable compromise needed to resolve the impending fiscal cliff, competing major news networks have come together to invent an enormous earthbound meteor in order to maintain viewership.

The media believes that the amicable resolution of an issue they’ve infused with dread may potentially create a “fear vacuum,” and have scrambled to come up with a story to fill the void. Much like actual junkies, news junkies can be expected to go through severe withdrawal if they fail to receive daily injections of hyperbolic polemics. Rather than have their viewers go “cold turkey,” the media has instead adopted the role of the humble drug dealer, pushing their consumer base to adapt to higher and higher dosages of pure bullshit.

“We’ve been alternately feeding and feeding off of our audience’s irrational fear for at least a decade,” said news analyst Rick Brimm. “We kind of don’t know how to do anything else.”

Indeed, it only took a few hours to manufacture and distribute a narrative about a meteor the size of Alaska, which will strike Washington and leave a country devoid of leadership into a violent and anarchistic free-for-all.

While this particular news organization has few qualms about feeding its naïve, sheep-like audience a noxious blend of outright lies, it must admit that there is little to no evidence that Washington is even considering a breach of partisanship for the sake of the nation’s wellbeing.

Total
0
Shares
Share 0
Tweet 0
Pin it 0
Related Topics
  • Fiscal cliff coming democrats
  • Fiscal cliff pushed off
  • Media reporting on the fiscal cliff
  • Media's reporting on fiscal cliff
  • Meteor coming to America
  • news makeup
  • will the fiscal cliff be resolved?
NewsLo

Previous Article
Angsty Upper Middle Class Teen Can’t Find One Thing to Be Thankful For
  • US

Angsty Upper Middle Class Teen Can’t Find One Thing to Be Thankful For

  • November 19, 2012
  • NewsLo
View Post
Next Article
Obama and Boehner Bond in Crying Jag
  • Politics

Obama and Boehner Bond in Crying Jag

  • November 19, 2012
  • NewsLo
View Post
You May Also Like
google reviews vs yelp
View Post
  • Media

Google Reviews vs Yelp: Which Reviews Matters the Most in 2020?

  • NewsLo
  • March 15, 2020
what does a social media manager do
View Post
  • Media

What Can a Social Media Manager Do for Your Business?

  • NewsLo
  • March 11, 2020
Sports Broadcasting
View Post
  • Media
  • Sports

Sports Broadcasting – Its popularity and Impact in South Korea

  • NewsLo
  • February 4, 2020
Instagram marketing
View Post
  • Media

Instagram Will Make Your Email Campaign More Strategic And Result Driven

  • NewsLo
  • September 18, 2019
Brit Hume
View Post
  • Entertainment
  • Entertainment Feature
  • Featured
  • Media
  • Media-Feature

Brit Hume Said About Health Insurance 

  • NewsLo
  • July 17, 2017
Pat Robertson
View Post
  • Media

Pat Robertson Unveils Gay-Repelling Necklace

  • NewsLo
  • June 15, 2017
kellyanne conway news
View Post
  • Featured
  • Latest Lies
  • Media
  • Media-Feature

Conway News: “I Am Ready To Fire Thomas Roberts For Crossing The Line By Disrespecting The U.S. President”

  • NewsLo
  • June 7, 2017
sarah huckabee sanders news
View Post
  • Featured
  • Media
  • Media-Feature

Sarah Huckabee: “The President Is Against The Politically Correct, So It’s Idiotic To Demand His Political Tweets To Be Correct”

  • NewsLo
  • June 6, 2017

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

You must be logged in to post a comment.

NewsLo 📊
  • Today’s Headlines
  • Featured
  • US
  • Politics
  • World
  • Media
  • Sports
  • Privacy Policy

Input your search keywords and press Enter.