Media Says Black Toddler’s Shooting Death Was at Least Twelve Years Too Early

NEW YORK— Media outlets across the nation are outraged after a shooting death in Brooklyn took the life of a 1-year-old African American toddler at least 12 years too early. Authorities in Brooklyn say that the bullet that struck young Antiq Harris in his stroller was meant for the boy’s father, which they would have been fine with. “We are heartbroken that another innocent life was cut down by a senseless act of violence. The young victim had at least ten years before he would have been marginalized by society or killed in a shooting that nobody paid any attention to,” lamented a reporter from New York’s WABC.

“Every child in our city is precious, and every child deserves our protection. And when a child dies, we all suffer, and we all grieve,” stated New York Mayor Michael Bloomberg. “But if the bullet had hit young Antiq’s father,” added the mayor, “well, I wouldn’t be commenting on it, I can tell you that much.”

Members of the Brownsville neighborhood where Antiq lived say the boy had his whole life in front him. Said a neighbor, “He could have easily lived until he was fourteen, then who knows what would have happened. If he was lucky enough to make it through his teens, twenties, thirties, forties, and fifties, he could have turned into a charming old black man.”