Melania Trump Threatens To Sue Vanity Fair For Calling Her “Frosty” When She’s “Clearly The Most Beautiful First Lady Ever”

A profile of First Lady Melania Trump in Vanity Fair magazine paints the former model as bored and disinterested with the duties of First Lady and sources close to Mr. Trump say that she has been dragged along behind her husband’s political ambitions against her will. “She never wanted this, and never had any interest,” said one source to Vanity Fair’s Evgenia Peretz. Unlike the president’s elder daughter Ivanka, who has “an intense personal will to power” – and a new West Wing office – Melania appears wholly disinterested in everything to do with Washington. This might be to blame for reported tensions in the first family, said Peretz. “Two sources in fashion and media have observed a frostiness between the two,” she reported.

Responding to her “insulting and truthless” Vanity Fair profile, the First Lady told Internet portal that she’s likely going to “press charges” against the legendary magazine on the basis of “attacking and insulting my public image and trying to drive a wedge between myself and my step-daughter.” “I’ve been in this country for quite a while now and I know how things work here,” Mrs. Trump said. “And though I respect the whole freedom of speech idea, I still think that the very fine line that exists between it and smearing someone’s good name continues to get trampled and stepped on almost daily. And of course, there’s also the small matter of the fact that falsely calling out someone who’s as gorgeous and famous as the current First Lady always helps get the sales up.”

She continued, “So, it’s not like I don’t get why this is happening. I do get it, very well, and it’s not that difficult to figure out. That being said, I still think there should be very strict consequences for anyone who dares to assault someone’s reputation, especially so if we’re talking about the wife of the president of the country. And I don’t care how famous or legendary the assailant is – they are not above the law. They can’t be forgiven simply because of their social significance and influence. Something like that would set a bad example for the entire industry, which is why they should be dealt with swiftly and harshly. And that’s exactly what I intend to do.”

Asked to elaborate on her further intentions, the First Lady revealed that she plans to “sue Vanity Fair magazine for everything they’ve got,” and she also implied she’s not going to stop until she gets “to the bottom of their so-called trusted and reliable sources.” She added, “I mean, go online right now and Google me. Literally type my name into the search bar and then go the ‘Images’ tab and then go ahead and click on any picture of me. Do I look like someone who’s frosty? Seriously? Do you think God was capable of sculpting a woman this good looking and then made sure to make her frigid or incapable of emotions? Of course not.”

“What’s more, I’m likely the most beautiful First Lady ever, even if I do say so myself. Therefore, Vanity Fair’s sources are garbage, their reporters are also garbage and the whole magazine is – you’ve guessed it – one big pile of garbage. And they can quote me on that anytime – if they’re still around by the time I’m done with them,” Mrs. Trump threatened.