Michelle Obama Running For Office In 2016 And Goes Into Celibacy

DC – Tensions are high in the White House and, surprisingly enough, it’s not because of the Ebola epidemic or the economic crisis; rumors have it that, in the midst of one of the most challenging political turmoil in the last decade, the high-pitch yelling and arguing that echo through the White House halls have to do with a spousal disagreement.

Michelle Obama, the wife of the US President Barrack Obama, has apparently decided to follow in the footsteps of another (former) first lady Hillary Clinton and run for presidency in 2016.

The only difference is, Michelle seems to have told her husband about her decision while he is still occupying the position she’s aiming for in the near future. As expected, although the Obama family is known for their mutual support, the latest decision of the current first lady threatens to change the situation drastically (especially in the White House bedroom).

“Personally, I think that Obama has done his part as president over the course of two terms, which is what the Constitution allows him. This is a very sensitive time for politics both in the US and the world, and we need to tread very carefully on domestic, as well as foreign soil. And we all know that high heels leave a smaller mark than a gentleman’s shoe, if you know what I mean” and unnamed source from Michelle Obama’s staff told CBS News yesterday.

“President Obama is so upset with his wife wanting his “sloppy seconds” that he has decided to cut her off from sex completely. Although he’s not the best politician in history, he’s still a man and is well-aware of the significance and power of sex as a release valve for someone under constant high pressure and stress”, the source added.

Whether the “no sex” policy is a simple punishment or it aims to deter the first lady from her new political ambitions remains unknown; the fact to the matter is that Michelle won’t be getting any until she changes her mind, apparently.