NewsLo
NewsLo
  • Home
  • Business
    • Accounting
    • Advertising
    • Branding
    • Career
    • Cyber Security
    • Entrepreneur
    • Jobs
    • Management
    • Marketing
    • Non Profit
    • Sales
    • Search Engine Optimization
    • Web Design
  • Finance
    • Banking
    • Bankruptcy
    • Budgeting
    • Credit
    • Debt
    • Estate Wills & Trusts
    • Home Improvements
    • Law
    • Loans
    • Personal Finance
    • Taxes
    • Shopping
  • Investment
    • Crypto Currency
    • Gold & Silver
    • Hard Assets
    • Real Estate
    • Retirement
    • Stocks & Bonds
    • Trading
  • Real Estate
    • Buying
    • Selling
    • Commercial Construction
    • Construction Law
    • Home Improvement
    • Loans
    • Property Management
    • Real Estate Laws
    • Rental Property
  • Insurance
    • Auto Insurance
    • Commercial Real Estate Insurance
    • Crop Insurance
    • Dental Insurance
    • Disability Insurance
    • Health Insurance
    • Home Owners Insurance
    • Identity Theft Protection
    • Insurance Law
    • Investment Insurance
    • Life Insurance
    • Pet Insurance
    • Renters Insurance
  • Contact Us
  • US

Minnesota Reminds Rest of Country That Minnesota is Still a State

  • May 14, 2013
  • NewsLo
  • No comments
  • 2 minute read
Total
0
Shares
0
0
0

SAINT PAUL, Minn. – The state House of Representatives of Minnesota voted 75-59 on Thursday in favor of a bill legalizing same-sex marriage out of hope that the bill would be seen as controversial and that the nation might take note that Minnesota is still a part of the union.

“We’re really looking to up the visibility of Minnesota as a whole,” Representative Karen Clark said, “and that’s what this bill does.”

“People think Minnesota and they think snow, pond hockey, corn, maybe Stewart Smalley or Walter Mondale. We want them to think of good times, party hats, indoor hockey, snowmen, but most of all, we just want them to think of us.”

Minnesota became the first Mid-Western state to legalize same-sex marriage legislatively and the 12th state in the nation to pass such a bill after the state Senate approved the measure.

One dejected Minnesota representative who opposed the bill, but voted for it anyway, said, “Christ, I mean seriously, we’re one of what, fifty states? Could we get a little attention over here? Everyone acts like we’re in Canada or something. We even have the same Prime Minister that the rest of the states have.”

Tim Kelly, a Republican Representative who proposed a civil union amendment, said, “Hey! Over here! Hey! We just legalized gay marriage! Doesn’t that piss you off or really excite you or something? Hey! HEY!”

Many people gathered outside of the Capitol as the votes came in, most pretending that they were excited about the bill, posing for national news cameras.

One group, dressed as popular tourist destinations in Minnesota, jumped around in front of a CNN camera. The group included people dressed as the Mall of America, a back-to-back Twins loss, the Super Bowl trophy the Vikings have never won, the world’s Largest Ball of Twine, a statue of Snoopy, and the Laura Ingalls Wilder House.

The Largest Ball of Twine commented, “Oh yeah, there’s going to be protests and celebrations, and all sorts of things now that this is working it’s way through Congress. We’re going to need night and day coverage.”

The Ball of Twine added, “And while you’re here check out the World’s Largest Ball of Twine in Darwin. It’s huge.”

The day was not without its dissenting voices though. One of the 59 throbbing cock veins who voted against the bill, Kelby Woodard, stated “This is a state divided. I think we’re jumping the gun here, giving everyone the full rights of citizens. “

“Personally, I’m still grappling with the Civil Rights Movement. I mean, integrated water fountains? Call me old fashioned, but I still find that to be a little unsettling.”

The Minnesota state Senate takes up the debate on Monday.

Total
0
Shares
Share 0
Tweet 0
Pin it 0
Related Topics
  • gay marriage in Minnesota
  • Minnesota
  • Minnesota Gay marriage
  • news humor
  • news humor and satire
NewsLo

Previous Article
LGBT Groups Lobby to Save Marriage by Outlawing Divorce 1
  • Today's Headlines
  • US

LGBT Groups Lobby to Save Marriage by Outlawing Divorce

  • May 14, 2013
  • NewsLo
View Post
Next Article
Poll: Half of Americans Believe God is Using Michele Bachmann to Test American Stupidity 2
  • Politics

Poll: Half of Americans Believe God is Using Michele Bachmann to Test American Stupidity

  • May 14, 2013
  • NewsLo
View Post
You May Also Like
best franchises to own
View Post
  • US

5 of the Most Lucrative & Best Franchises to Own in 2020

  • NewsLo
  • March 16, 2020
ted cruz religion refugees
View Post
  • Featured
  • Politics
  • US
  • US-Feature

Ted Cruz News: “Helping Texans Is Not Like Helping New Orleans, Hurricane Sandy Was Righteous”

  • NewsLo
  • August 28, 2017
rand paul news
View Post
  • Featured
  • US
  • US-Feature

Rand Paul: “We Don’t Care If Trump Is Found Guilty Of Cheating During Election, He Legally Has The Power To Pardon Himself”

  • NewsLo
  • July 25, 2017
ken ham tax
View Post
  • Featured
  • US
  • US-Feature

Ken Ham: “God Owns All Of Earth And Everything On It Anyway, So Why Should He Pay Tax To Himself? It’s Pointless”

  • NewsLo
  • July 23, 2017
Trump: “Pastor Robertson Is A White Humanity Lover And The Fact That He’s Not Allowed To Say That About Me Is A Violation Of Religious Rights Freedom” 3
View Post
  • Featured
  • Religion
  • US
  • US-Feature

Trump: “Pastor Robertson Is A White Humanity Lover And The Fact That He’s Not Allowed To Say That About Me Is A Violation Of Religious Rights Freedom”

  • NewsLo
  • July 14, 2017
Trump Compares Ivanka To Syrian Children: “She’s Also Suffered A Lot As My Daughter, Had To Move Between Countries All The Time Just Like Them” 4
View Post
  • US
  • Latest Lies
  • Today's Headlines
  • US-Feature

Trump Compares Ivanka To Syrian Children: “She’s Also Suffered A Lot As My Daughter, Had To Move Between Countries All The Time Just Like Them”

  • NewsLo
  • July 9, 2017
allan parker
View Post
  • Featured
  • US
  • US-Feature

Allan Parker: “God Intervened And Prevented Trump’s Mother From Having An Abortion So He Would Become President And Put A Stop To It”

  • NewsLo
  • July 8, 2017
C-SPAN Caller Calls To Outlaw Single Moms Because They Are “Taking Us Back To Caveman Age When Men Just Bred Women” 5
View Post
  • Featured
  • Health
  • US
  • US-Feature

C-SPAN Caller Calls To Outlaw Single Moms Because They Are “Taking Us Back To Caveman Age When Men Just Bred Women”

  • NewsLo
  • July 5, 2017

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

You must be logged in to post a comment.

NewsLo
  • Today’s Headlines
  • Featured
  • US
  • Politics
  • World
  • Media
  • Sports
  • Privacy Policy

Input your search keywords and press Enter.