Missouri Police Wearing ‘I Shoot Black People’ Bracelets in Support of Darren Wilson

FERGUSON, Mo. – Missouri police were criticized this week after a photo of a Missouri police officer wearing an “I am Darren Wilson” bracelet published on Instagram went viral. In response, they have chosen to replace the questionable bands with ones bearing the more specific message of “I Shoot Black People.”

“It was brought to our attention that the “I am Darren Wilson” bracelets may have been inappropriate,” explained Missouri Highway Patrol Captain Ron Johnson. “Many, if not almost all, of our officers are not, in fact, named Darren Wilson, and we worried this would cause confusion. I have spoken with agencies involved, and we came up with “I Shoot Black People” as a better way for the officers to express their feelings.”

Even as he announced the change, Captain Johnson assured the public that the provocative bracelets did not reflect the feelings of Missouri law enforcement in general. “I think that was not a statement of law enforcement. I think wearing that was an individual statement,” he explained. “At least, I’m pretty sure. I’ll double check.”

Residents of Ferguson reacted positively to the news. “Frankly, the ‘I am Darren Wilson’ bracelets were just too confusing. I mean  all white people look alike when they’re wearing military-grade armor and face shields,” said resident Michael Hines. “You tell me they’re all just clones with the same name and I’m ready to believe you.”

“But now, I get it. They all just want to shoot me,” he added. “That I can understand.”