NewsLo
NewsLo
  • Home
  • Business
    • Accounting
    • Advertising
    • Branding
    • Career
    • Cyber Security
    • Entrepreneur
    • Jobs
    • Management
    • Marketing
    • Non Profit
    • Sales
    • Search Engine Optimization
    • Web Design
  • Finance
    • Banking
    • Bankruptcy
    • Budgeting
    • Credit
    • Debt
    • Estate Wills & Trusts
    • Home Improvements
    • Law
    • Loans
    • Personal Finance
    • Taxes
    • Shopping
  • Investment
    • Crypto Currency
    • Gold & Silver
    • Hard Assets
    • Real Estate
    • Retirement
    • Stocks & Bonds
    • Trading
  • Real Estate
    • Buying
    • Selling
    • Commercial Construction
    • Construction Law
    • Home Improvement
    • Loans
    • Property Management
    • Real Estate Laws
    • Rental Property
  • Insurance
    • Auto Insurance
    • Commercial Real Estate Insurance
    • Crop Insurance
    • Dental Insurance
    • Disability Insurance
    • Health Insurance
    • Home Owners Insurance
    • Identity Theft Protection
    • Insurance Law
    • Investment Insurance
    • Life Insurance
    • Pet Insurance
    • Renters Insurance
  • Contact Us
  • Blogs

Mohammed Morsi Op-Ed: I am a very funny man

  • April 12, 2013
  • NewsLo
  • No comments
  • 3 minute read
Total
0
Shares
0
0
0

I have heard the grumblings and the complaints. I hear people saying, “Oh, Mohammed, you have no sense of humor.” I tell you now: I have a sense of humor, you silly goose.

Many believe that because of the arrest of Bassem Youssef, a vile satirist who revels in fecal jokes, that I haven’t a sense of humor. Wrong. I love jokes. Tell me a joke. I will laugh.

That’s right. Anyone who says otherwise can go straight to prison. Aha! Joking. See? I am a very funny man. My underlings? They say, “Mohammed is always with the funny bone in his pocket.”

I will show you how funny I am: last week, when the US Embassy in Cairo tweeted a clip of Jon Stewart ridiculing me for arresting Youssef, I deleted their Twitter account.  Later I gave it back, because I am merciful as well as practical jokester. But I deleted the tweet about me. Aha! Funny.

Yes, Youssef was arrested. Show me where is my name on the court documents. I did not do this. I love jokesters. An unidentified person is bringing charges against Youssef for insulting me and showing contempt toward Islam. I don’t know who it could be that would be upset about him insulting me. I saw his jokes and said to my underlings, “Go get him. I don’t care what the charges are.” Kidding!

No I’m not.

But seriously folks, you can ask anyone who knows me and they will say I am a very funny man. Just last week I was reading that John Kerry said Washington has “real concerns about the direction Egypt appears to be moving in.” Then he said that Egypt is at a “tipping point.” You can ask anyone who was around me while I was reading that. After I read it, I set the paper down and said to my friend Khairat al Shater, “If I saw John Kerry on a boat, I’d tip it, so he drowns.”

Swear to Allah, I said it, quick-witted as an Egyptian Jon Stewart. I am always joking like that.

Khairat does not have sense of humor. He said, “Ok. I’ll drown him.” Stupid Khairat. He must lighten up.

Maybe that’s what happened. I maybe saw joke by Youssef and said, “If this was five years ago, he’d already be arrested.” But I said it like a joke. Khairat, he doesn’t understand jokes.

Plus you forget we let — I mean, they let Youssef out on bail. So no sniveling, you striped bass. Ha! I like that one. It’s funny in Egypt, because there are no striped bass in Egypt.

Oh, and once I said “Knock, knock.” (Go ahead and respond yourself.) “Giza.” (And here.) “Are you Giza use that?” See?

Maybe this is all lost in translation. Mixed up like gas and alcohol, which don’t mix, right? Gas and alcohol. You know. Gas and alcohol. You don’t get it? You must read more books to keep up with Mr. Morsi.

Maybe now I will sing you a sad song about not eating meat! You can call me Mohammed Morrissey. Ha! I kid. I always kid. Because I am a very funny man. But seriously I must go check on personal investments in China and Qatar now.

Total
0
Shares
Share 0
Tweet 0
Pin it 0
Related Topics
  • Basseem Youssef
  • Mohammed Morsi
  • Morsi
  • Morsi satire
  • news humor
  • US Embassy in Cairo
NewsLo

Previous Article
Gaborik Insists Trade To Columbus Was Mutual 1
  • Sports

Gaborik Insists Trade To Columbus Was Mutual

  • April 12, 2013
  • NewsLo
View Post
Next Article
New Rules Allow Doctors to Prescribe ADHD Meds for Mood Disorders, Mild Anxiety, SATs 2
  • US

New Rules Allow Doctors to Prescribe ADHD Meds for Mood Disorders, Mild Anxiety, SATs

  • April 12, 2013
  • NewsLo
View Post
You May Also Like
how to make money while traveling
View Post
  • Blogs

Proven Ways on How to Make Money While Traveling Full-Time

  • NewsLo
  • August 31, 2019
View Post
  • Blogs
  • Blogs Feature

The Right to Keep and Bear Arms Law in the United States

  • NewsLo
  • April 12, 2018
Toys R Us app
View Post
  • Blogs
  • Blogger's Corner

Can the New Toys R Us App Save The Company from Total Annihilation?

  • NewsLo
  • October 9, 2017
donald trump crazy tweets
View Post
  • Blogs Feature
  • Blogs
  • Featured

Donald Trump Defeat His Own Crazy Tweets: “There Is No Way I Wrote Them My Self”

  • NewsLo
  • August 16, 2017
pilot app
View Post
  • Blogs

Pilot App and the Rise of Online Immersive Experiences

  • NewsLo
  • July 21, 2017
political jargon
View Post
  • Blogs
  • Blogger's Corner

Political Jargon: How to Lighten up the Monotony in 2017

  • NewsLo
  • June 29, 2017
View Post
  • Blogs

4D Planning is a growing planning consultancy and architecture practise in London and Manchester

  • NewsLo
  • December 25, 2016
View Post
  • Blogs

4 Main Reasons Why Many Traders Make a Loss

  • NewsLo
  • October 24, 2016

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

You must be logged in to post a comment.

NewsLo
  • Today’s Headlines
  • Featured
  • US
  • Politics
  • World
  • Media
  • Sports
  • Privacy Policy

Input your search keywords and press Enter.