More Than 300 Million Americans Have Not Been Killed by Guns Since Newtown

UNITED STATES OF AMERICA – The number of Americans who have not been killed by guns since last December’s mass shooting in Newtown, Conn. has nearly surpassed the total population of the United States, according to Slate’s gun-deaths tally project.

According to the study, approximately 313 million Americans—including an estimated 74 million children—have not fallen victim to gun violence since Adam Lanza used his mother’s guns to murder 20 children and six adults at Sandy Hook Elementary School on December 14, 2012.

By comparison, guns did not kill only 35 million people in Canada last year. In the entire world, only China and India surpassed the United States in the number of people who were not slain by firearms.

The startling figure is being heralded by angry citizens and lawmakers who demand to know how only an estimated 33,273 people have been killed by guns since last year’s unthinkable tragedy.

“We’re not doing enough,” remarked President Obama at a December vigil. “And we will have to change.”

In spite of the president’s promise, lawmakers at the federal level have done next to nothing to decrease the number of non-gun deaths in America. The only piece of gun-related legislation passed this year was a renewal of the expiring ban on plastic firearms, which lawmakers say would help curb the number of chintzy, non-lethal guns manufactured in America.

“Frankly, I think we should be embarrassed as a country,” declared Kansas Gov. Sam Brownback (R), who earlier this year refused to repeal a law that nullifies federal restrictions on guns manufactured and kept within state borders in an effort to insure that fewer Kansans avoid gun deaths.

“America has almost twice as many guns per capita as any other country in the world, but there are literally hundreds of millions of people that avoid getting shot every single day.”

Even more disturbing than the staggering number of Americans routinely not being shot to death are the lengthy stretches of time that often take place in between shootings, fatal or otherwise.

Another study revealed that, on average, as many as five minutes go by every day in America without somebody getting shot.