MSNBC Asks Fox News for Help Scaring Viewers Shitless

NEW YORK — Following MSNBC’s besting of Fox News in the coveted 25 to 54-year-old demographic in the days after the election, the NBC spinoff network is asking its adversary for help to continue its climb up the ratings.  MSNBC still lags behind Fox News in overall ratings and hopes the conservative media giant will help its editorial team come up with absurd conspiracy theories to make its viewers tremble.

MSNBC has made strides in creating a smug liberal echo chamber for its audience. But in order for the left-leaning outlet to match Fox’s success, network executives know they must harness the power of hyperbole and pre-scripted narrative. MSNBC is hoping that Fox News will teach it how to have the gumption to create a liberal Glen Beck.

While MSNBC painted Romney as a poor presidential candidate, they are hoping by 2016 they can portray the Republican candidate as a mash-up of Hitler and Jeffery Dahmer. MSNBC is currently blurring the truth line to promote its political agenda, but hopes in the future to have the same apathy towards facts that Fox News has.

Fox News has been surprisingly receptive to the idea, saying that it would help MSNBC so “it could better order a large mainstream media at the mall.” This comment has confirmed rumors that Fox News does not in fact know what the term “mainstream media” means.