WASHINGTON — The conception, planning, and profitable execution of a multi-city tour that charges participants $30 a piece for the opportunity to be chased by bulls– and $10 a head for spectators – has prompted economists and leaders from both sides of the aisle to declare the economy officially healed.
Nobel Prize-winning economist Paul Krugman said that while the precipitous drop in the deficit was a harbinger of better times ahead, the unexpected financial success of a roving carnival that pairs elements of the Pamplona, Spain’s running of the bulls with Mardi Gras is proof that the hard times are over. “I’ve been saying for a while that economic headwinds are dying, as evidenced by the deficit shrinking at an exponential rate – from a peak of $1.9 trillion in 2009, to under $700 billion today, the lowest in five years.”
While there is a penchant in some circles to ignore the shrinking budgetary shortfalls, Krugman has taken solace in the universal acceptance that – if times were in fact difficult – consumers in several markets would not embrace an endeavor that charges them money for the privilege of dressing in outlandish costumes to risk being trampled to death over a quarter mile track.
“It seems as if times are bullish indeed,” added Krugman.
“Oh, I give up,” groaned an exasperated Rep. Paul Ryan (R-WI). “I’ve been trying to argue that while we have seen a drop in the unemployment rate to 7.4% – after hitting 10% in early 2009 – that is mainly due to thousands of people giving up looking for work. But when ‘fleeing from enraged bovines’ is actually a financially sound sector, I guess it doesn’t matter that the economy added a tepid 227,000 jobs last month. Clearly, the American people have spoken. Everything’s fine.”