Syrians Not Too Crazy About the Jews Right Now

DAMASCUS — After an Israeli airstrike in Syria hit a truck allegedly carrying weapons for Hezbollah earlier this week, Syrian Ambassador to Lebanon Ali Abdul Karim Ali revealed that the Muslim world was “honestly not too crazy about the Jews right now.”  Adding, “and that’s saying something – because we’re not particularly thrilled about their existence on a good day.”

“We were already pretty upset at the Jews for the deliberate spread of HIV in the Arab world,” said Ali, “but now they’re intentionally obstructing Hezbollah from acquiring powerful weapons, simply because a basic tenet of that organization’s agenda is the destruction of Israel.”

In fact, Hezbollah had already fought a month-long war against Israel in 2006, using weapons donated by Syria and Iran. Both nations have supported the paramilitary group financially and politically in a “defensive jihad” designed to prevent the success of the secret Jewish ambition of world domination.

According to Saeed Jalili, the head of Iran’s National Security Council, tensions between Islamist organizations in the Middle East and Israel have actually been high for quite a while, and this latest development has done nothing to patch up relations.

“Israel really shouldn’t have done that,” said Jalili. “Now Syria is trying to get all the other explicitly anti-Semitic groups in the Middle East to denounce and declare war on the Zionist enemy and, not gonna lie, we’re probably going to do it.”

Lebanon, whose government is dominated by Hezbollah, also criticized the airstrike, reminding observing nations not to mistake anti-Zionism for anti-Semitism, as “that is exactly what the pig Jew wants.”