Nation Given Three-Day Weekend to Enjoy ‘Arrested Development’

LOS ANGELES – As spring transitions into summer, the nation has been granted a three-day weekend. Authorities in Washington and Hollywood have decided that, considering the rough year we’ve all been having, America deserved Monday off to enjoy and appreciate the return of “Arrested Development” to the fullest.

Considered by many critics to be the greatest TV comedy of the 21st century, “Arrested Development” won six Emmy Awards before it went off the air in 2006. The show returns at 12:01 a.m. Sunday, with 15 episodes debuting all at once on Netflix. To give U.S. citizens a chance to dig their teeth into season four of the series, Congress has declared Monday a national holiday.

“Between the recent White House scandals, the continued economic malaise and environmental and man-made disasters, both at home and abroad, America needs the Bluth family now more than ever,” said House Speaker John Boehner. “In fact, this might be something worth celebrating every year. Perhaps we should permanently set aside a day for … for a memorial of sorts for those who’ve worked so hard and given so much.”

To mark the return of what some consider the best live-action sitcom ever made, barbeques will be held and fireworks set off. Fashion experts say that, in celebration of Arrested Development’s  resurrection, it will now be acceptable to wear white, whereas before it would have been inappropriate to wear white because there was no “Arrested Development.” Stephanie Post, a Netflix spokeswoman, says she can imagine “no better way” to spend a day off than curled up with the show.

There will be at least one episode about each major character and what they’ve been doing for the past seven years,” Post said, “so I’m going to want to do that all once. In honor of ‘AD,’ banks, schools and post offices will be closed on Monday, and lots of businesses let out early on Friday so that people could prepare.”

Post added: “It’s the final countdown.”