Nation’s Attention Span Tested by Numerous Foreign Conflicts, TV Singing Competitions

NEW YORK — With several conflicts raging in the Middle East, media scholars report that Americans across the country have become increasingly irritable and confused. They frequently find themselves overwhelmed by the media’s coverage of rising tensions abroad and the recent influx of televised singing programs.

“Studies show that the average American only has the attention span to follow one war and one televised singing competition at a time,” said Dr. Julius Brown, a Media Studies professor at Fordham University. “Any more than that will overload their system and leave them reaching for their smart phones to play Angry Birds or looking to cool down with a beer and a nap. The last few months have truly been a trying and mentally exhausting time for much of the American public.”

Jack Davis, an accountant from Albany agrees, noting that reading through the Sunday paper has recently left him groggy and disoriented.

“First, I heard that Syria was in civil war, which was tough enough to follow. And now Palestine and Israel are clashing again? Add all that on top of everything going on in Afghanistan, Egypt, and Iraq… It’s just a bit much,” said Davis. “And ‘The Voice’? Is that the one with Christina Aguilera? Is ‘American Idol’ even on anymore? You know what? I’m getting pretty sleepy. I think I’m going to go grab a beer and catch up on some sleep.”

Experts expect this phenomenon to taper off by the start of 2013, when the majority of America’s attention will be focused on the NFL playoffs.