NewsLo
  • Today’s Headlines
  • Featured
  • US
  • Politics
  • World
  • Media
  • Sports
  • Privacy Policy
Subscribe
NewsLo
NewsLo
  • Home
  • Business
    • Accounting
    • Advertising
    • Branding
    • Career
    • Customer Service
    • Cyber Security
    • Entrepreneur
    • Jobs
    • Management
    • Marketing
    • Non Profit
    • Search Engine Optimization
    • Sales
    • Web Design
  • Finance
    • Banking
    • Bankruptcy
    • Budgeting
    • Credit
    • Debt
    • Estate Wills & Trusts
    • Home Improvements
    • Law
    • Loans
    • Personal Finance
    • Taxes
    • Shopping
  • Investment
    • Crypto Currency
    • Gold & Silver
    • Hard Assets
    • Real Estate
    • Retirement
    • Stocks & Bonds
    • Trading
  • Real Estate
    • Buying
    • Selling
    • Commercial Construction
    • Construction Law
    • Home Improvement
    • Loans
    • Property Management
    • Real Estate Laws
    • Rental Property
  • Insurance
    • Auto Insurance
    • Commercial Real Estate Insurance
    • Crop Insurance
    • Dental Insurance
    • Disability Insurance
    • Health Insurance
    • Home Owners Insurance
    • Identity Theft Protection
    • Insurance Law
    • Investment Insurance
  • Contact Us
  • Sports
  • Today's Headlines

New England Loss Blamed on ‘Mile High’ Stadium

  • January 20, 2014
  • News Lo
TomBrady
(Photo Credit: Wikimedia Commons)
Total
0
Shares
0
0
0

DENVER – The New England Patriots officially protested Sunday’s 26-16 loss to the Denver Broncos in the AFC Championship Game, arguing that its players’ easy access to legalized marijuana in Colorado led to a “lackluster performance at Mile High Stadium.”

“Never in my fourteen years of coaching this team have I seen us look so winded and miss so many blocks,” said Patriots coach Bill Belichick. “There was something else at work here, and it wasn’t just the altitude.”

Prior to the game, Belichick received reports from assistant coaches that Patriot players were visiting marijuana shops throughout the week in hopes of stocking up on the drug, which is available in Massachusetts only for medical use.

“Unfortunately, if I suspended each player that smoked some of this Colorado Kush, or whatever the heck it’s called, we would’ve been left with a roster of eight guys,” continued Belichick. “Not exactly an ideal situation when you’re going up against Peyton Manning.”

Belichik didn’t lay blame on his players, though. He believes that Colorado’s marijuana tourism industry, which has seen a precipitous rise in sales since the starts of the Broncos’ playoff run, is the real culprit. “Our team is composed of kids, mostly under 30. They’re powerless against the draw of legalized marijuana, especially when it’s thrown in their faces with wacky billboards and TV commercials.”

The coach believes the solution is simple: limit the sale of marijuana on game weekends. “I think you’d see improved performances from visiting teams. Suddenly players aren’t running to the wrong end zone or acting paranoid when they hear the whistle.”

Despite the protest, league officials believe the current Super Bowl matchup of the Seattle Seahawks and Denver Broncos will go forward at MetLife Stadium in East Rutherford, N.J. Coincidentally, both teams play in the only two states that have legalized recreational marijuana use.

“We’re expecting a very slow game with a lot of time-outs called for no apparent reason,” quipped a league official. 

Total
0
Shares
Share 0
Tweet 0
Pin it 0
Related Topics
  • Newslo
  • NYT
  • Patriots stoned
Avatar of News Lo
News Lo

Welcome to Newslo! Our team of dedicated authors strives to deliver the latest and most important info on finance while infusing a dose of our own style to give you a unique experience. Whether you're looking for in-depth discussions on investments or solid finance tips, we have something for everyone. Our goal is to deliver you the best possible content. So, keep reading our articles and give us your feedback!

Previous Article
  • Entertainment
  • Today's Headlines

Kanye West Fathered Baby Born To Catholic Nun

  • January 20, 2014
  • News Lo
View Post
Next Article
  • Media

Fox News Claims Scientific Breakthrough in ‘Wussification’ of Men’

  • January 21, 2014
  • News Lo
View Post
NewsLo
  • Today’s Headlines
  • Featured
  • US
  • Politics
  • World
  • Media
  • Sports
  • Privacy Policy
Navigating the world of finance, one step at a time.

Input your search keywords and press Enter.