New Zealand Welcomes Same-Sex Couples to Mile-High Club

AUCKLAND, New Zealand — New Zealand same-sex couple Lynley Bendall and Ally Wanikau, who have been together for 14 years, tied the knot this week on board a flight from Queenstown to Auckland on the first day same-sex marriage became legal within the country. The two had been chosen from numerous video applications sent to Air New Zealand, which held a contest to win the honor of being married on a flight.  Immediately upon reciting their vows, the newlyweds adjourned to the plane’s restroom, which had been reconfigured to accommodate same-sex couples entering the Mile-High club–the accepted slang term used to describe individuals who engage in sexual activity on an airplane.

“I am proud to lead such an inclusive, progressive organization,” stated Air New Zealand CEO Christopher Luxon. “When word reached us that the legislature had approved same-sex marriage, I knew we had a duty not only to honor and celebrate these couples, but to do whatever was needed to make sure they were able to throw caution and regulations to the wind and get all funky in our restrooms.”

According to Luxon, the reconfigured restroom on Bendall and Wanikau’s flight was only a prototype, but even so, his company spent days conceptualizing the changes. “Since this would be the first time a same-sex couple joined the Mile-High Club on an Air New Zealand flight, we were in uncharted territory,” said Luxon. “The first thing I needed to understand was just what sort of activities the newlyweds would engage in that would qualify for joining the Mile High Club. Once it was explained to me through a very informative YouPorn video, I realized we needed a larger restroom. I mean unless we were panning on only catering to same-sex married gymnasts.”

“You could tell they really put some thought into it,” said Bendall. “Ally and I were very comfortable, and there was plenty of elbow room.”

“Oh yeah, it was totally hot,” agreed Wanikau. “Though for my money, they could’ve tried to hit a bit more turbulence. That would’ve been just the ticket.”

Upon landing in Auckland, CEO Luxon declared the initial attempt at same sex Mile-High Clubbing an unqualified success. “Near as we could all tell, the newlyweds had a blast,” he said. “Although now I’m fairly convinced in the need to invest in some thicker walls.”