Newt Gingrich Still Holding Moon Colony Pressers for No One

WASHINGTON — The former House Speaker and presidential hopeful Newt Gingrich has been again holding press conferences about moon colonies to a house packed with no one, sources said Tuesday.

“He shouts the entire time, for an hour,” said a source close to the former speaker. “He pretends there are hundreds, maybe thousands, there. No one has the heart to break it to him I guess. There is just no one there. Not one person.”

Gingrich has been spotted holding pressers in landfills, gas stations, baptism ceremonies, and corn mazes as of recent. He reportedly speaks for an average of 50 minutes next to a PowerPoint presentation, mainly of Googled images of ET and handmade pencil drawings.

“He tells me to meet him ‘in the back’ after the pressers are finished in case I can’t find him,” said current wife, Callista Gingrich. “I say, honey, back or front, I see you. No one is in the way, I see you and you know I’m the only one at this function.”

Gingrich staff have also been reportedly seen taking candid’s of people walking idly past the venues, despite their having no intention of going to the speech at all, and then tagging them in Facebook and Twitter photos, referring to them as ‘devoted attendees.’

The former speaker told reporters he is “sick of being told that there’s no one there.”

“What does that mean? The point is not ‘who’s there,’” said Gingrich. “The point is, galaxies, outer space. Life is so grandiose and frankly, I still have a warehouse full of thousands of ‘Newt for president’ tee shirts, buttons, and pins that I have no idea what to do with and I just need someone to talk to.”

Sources say Gingrich is expected to make the rounds and bring his message through abandoned warehouses and all-you-can-eat buffets in the coming months. The Gingrich team declined to comment to reporters and have since untagged all Facebook photos as of press time.