#NNTS: Meet the 9-Month-Old Pakistani Police Accused of Trying to Kill Them

We’ve known for some time that things are not all right in Pakistan. Car bombings are frequent, the civilian government is unstable and dominated by a powerful and often nefarious security force, and American predator drones circle overhead with impunity.

But if you believe the Pakistani government, the situation is even worse than we could have imagined. In fact, according to prosecutors, murderous babies are roaming the streets of Pakistan, threatening to stone police to death.

Well, at least one murderous baby. That’s right: a dangerous criminal named Muhammad Mosa Khan has been charged with trying to steal gas and murder police. Khan, also known as “Musa,” is nine months old.

The crime in question occurred in Lahore, capital of the Punjab province. Little Musa and his 29 co-defendants (the rest of whom have, presumably, been potty-trained) are accused of trying to stone police, who allege that the group was attempting to steal gas. Musa’s father, also facing charges, claims that he and the other defendants were actually peacefully protesting an electricity shortage and are being falsely accused by the police.

At a recent court appearance, Musa, seating on his father’s lap and drinking milk from a baby-bottle (you can spot thugs like him from a mile away), was granted bail but must appear before the court again on April 12. Musa made no attempt to argue his innocence, and although that’s probably because he cannot yet speak, we understand the court’s hesitation to dismiss the charges against him.

Why risk putting a bloodthirsty baby like Musa back on the streets? Doing so might give outsiders the entirely false impression that Pakistan is a dangerous place to visit.