NEW YORK — At a press conference detailing the largest gun bust in the history of New York City, Mayor Bloomberg was delighted to describe how the whole thing had come about thanks to Instagram.

Commissioner Ray Kelly played up the fact that “detectives learned through an unrelated undercover narcotics investigation that guns were being sold in the Ocean Hill community of Brooklyn,” but Bloomberg focused more on the role of the photo-sharing social network, saying: “I heard from my peeps on the feed that this guy was macking so I was like ‘what that about?’ and got my boy here R to the Kells to hit it up”.

Kelly filled in more details about the case, noting that one of the suspects, Earl Campbell, “made trips to New York City practically every week and sometimes multiple times a week just to sell guns,’‘ prompting Bloomberg to add: “You should see the Instagrams of money they were Instagramming; those dudes were all about the Benjamins. But I know how that go, I sling g’s with the kinds of billionaires that make John D. Rockefeller look like Andrew Carnegie!” After Kelly explained that almost $160,000 was made on the sale of some of the weapons, Bloomberg audibly scoffed, muttering “I make that cheddar in a hour, son”.

The Commissioner also announced that, by the end of the operation, nineteen people had been arrested and 254 guns had been recovered, leading Bloomberg to yell “Holla! What what!” Regarding the use of Instagram, it was revealed that aspiring rapper Matthew Best had posted pictures of guns and money on the site, as well as a video on Youtube, which played a pivotal role in the investigation. Bloomberg added: “And it didn’t even go viral, yo! I don’t need it though cause I got my own network!”