Obama and Boehner Bond in Crying Jag

WASHINGTON — When President Barack Obama and House Majority Leader John Boehner met for the first time since the President won re-election, the two long-time foes found something to bond over – their public display of tears!

Boehner is famous for crying when he became Speaker of the House and on several occasions since.  Obama recently wiped away tears speaking at an election-eve rally in Iowa and again while addressing staffers two days after his re-election.

A source at the first post-election meeting between the two party heads said that the men, who previously deeply distrusted each other, came to mutual respect and admiration.

“Obama told Boehner, ‘I thought you were a weepy wuss!’” reported the source. “Then Boehner replied, ‘And I thought you were an unemotional Kenyan!’”  It was then that the two men embraced and sniffled together.  At one point, they even finished each other’s sentence. “I’m so sorry,” the President began, “That I misjudged you!” Boehner added. The two men looked at each other, nodded simultaneously, and embraced again, patting each other on the back.

“It’s fortunate that it was a closed-door meeting,” the source said. “If this had gone on YouTube, it would’ve been pretty bad.  It was a little over-the-top, to be honest.”

According to sources on the hill, the two men now feel that they can trust one another.

Two days after their initial bonding moment, Boehner reportedly called the President just to dish. “I’m getting a lot of crap from Eric Cantor,” the House Speaker admitted. “Can I come over for a little?”

An aide to the congressman said “Boehner said that being able to weep in the Oval Office was one of the highlights of his career.”

The two men issued a joint statement. “After all this time, we finally realize what women politicians have been telling us all along – that being able to express our feelings and show vulnerability goes a long way towards resolving conflicts. We still have many rivers to cross, but we’re confident we’ll reach our journey if we travel on a river of tears.”

Boehner’s newfound bipartisanship has reportedly caused dissention within the GOP ranks.

“You’ll never see Putin acting like this,” said an anonymous conservative pundit. “Right this minute he’s probably wrestling a crocodile naked or something. Now that’s a leader. ”