Obama Apologizes for Overstuffed Benghazi Narrative, Cites ‘Dark Knight Rises’ Director as Influence

WASHINGTON — In a press conference earlier today, President Barack Obama blamed a recent viewing of “The Dark Knight Rises” for his complex and difficult to follow narrative on the Benghazi embassy attacks. According to the president, senior advisors thought the “Muslim protest” angle would make for a more engaging, action-packed story than a premeditated al-Qaeda attack.

But this is not the first time Obama has been led astray by famed director Christopher Nolan. The president claimed Nolan’s film making influenced him to characterize the 2011 raid on Osama Bin Laden’s compound as a firefight, when reportedly, only one of the five people killed was carrying a weapon.

“Who wants to hear that we went in and smoked a guy in his pajamas? In ‘Batman Begins’ does the Dark Knight shoot Ra’s al Ghul while he’s sitting on the john? No way. He sends him off a bridge in a goddamn monorail” said Obama. “I thought the idea of a shootout was way cooler. You know, with the SEAL team lighting that place up like a Christmas tree, and like, ‘Immigrant Song’ playing in the background, and things just exploding willy nilly…and for that, I apologize.”

But some in the film world have come out in defense of the president’s Bengazi narrative.

“Obama really is a master of suspense,” praised film critic Roger Ebert. “He gave us a complex fiction, constantly developing and keeping the public guessing. It’s story-telling 101.”

Despite these critical acclamations, the Obama administration says in the future it will scale back the ambition of its narrative structures in an attempt to make politics more palatable to key demographics.

“I have spoken with the President, and we have agreed that he should no longer use Christopher Nolan’s canon to inspire our reports,” said Clinton. “This whole Bengazi thing has been a nightmare within a nightmare within a nightmare.”