MOSCOW — “I know you think Obama cancelled our meeting because of Snowden,” Russian President Vladimir Putin said, “but really he just refused to abide by my shirtless summit rule.”
The Russian President, whose latest shirtless photo came from a fishing trip he took with the Russian Prime Minister on July 20th, just does not understand how anyone could conduct a diplomatic visit while wearing a shirt “like a sissy.”
“I mean, I get it though,” Putin admitted, “Obama likes to play golf and went to Harvard; I like to kill things in Siberia and was a leader of the KGB, so I understand why Barack might be a little intimidated by what a hulking piece of well-sculpted man meat I am.”
The two sides were apparently close to resolving the diplomatic stand-off after Obama proposed that the two men wear cut-off muscle shirts. However, an impasse over how much midriff would be permissible eventually scuttled the deal.
After the summit was cancelled, the Kremlin released a statement bemoaning the spindly look of the American leader and recommended Obama replace his cardio-centric basketball hobby with intense weightlifting. The White House responded promptly, accusing Putin of “only worked out his glamour muscles” and suggesting that he “needs to start putting in work on his core.”
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The article failed to mention that in March, Vladimir Putin had announced his plans to change the Russian national anthem to “Macho Man,” or rather <> Relations with the U.S. began to slide when President Obama tried to explain the cultural relevance of The Village People, which the Russian President vehemently refused to accept.
However, sources say Putin has quietly changed his tune, and now hopes that by the time of the Winter Olympics opening ceremonies, all of Russia will have memorized the lyrics to <> by the heroic composer Ф. Меркьюри.
This feels like… well… what would happen if two guild leaders on an MMO forum were going at it.
“Do you even lift Bro?”
“Bro, the only thing you lift is a big mac”.
“You’re fucking ten ply bud!”
My sisters gay all I want to do is meet this little short KGB coward and split his head open from a hetro brother its time to seriously f@#@k u up……please meet me putin I want to teach you a lesson you will never forget.
I hope this is a joke. If it isn’t we are dealing with some mental issues here.What they going to do, arm wrestle? LOL