Obama to Give Romney “Loser’s Tour” of White House

WASHINGTON — In his acceptance speech Election Night, President Obama remarked that he’d hoped to meet with Republican challenger Mitt Romney in the near-future. Many pundits dismissed it as a fleeting gesture, but Obama followed up by inviting Romney to the White House for lunch Thursday.

Obama advisor David Axelrod explained the invitation saying, “’The Loser’s Tour’ is a time-honored tradition. The ‘Loser’s Tour’ is the revenge the winning candidate gets to exact on his opponent. It’s perfect, because the loser can’t refuse the invitation to the White House; he would be seen as petty and petulant. So he has to go, even though he knows what’s coming.”

According to Axelrod, when Romney arrives, Obama will leave the defeated former governor waiting on the doorstep for at least five minutes. The president will then escort Mr. Romney into the little known “Hall of Failures,” in which portraits of previous losers like Al Gore, John Kerry and John McCain hang. The President will then honor Mr. Romney’s loss by adding his portrait to the pantheon of losers.