Obama Playing ‘Real Long’ Game, Vows Not to Back Down Once He Leaves Office

WASHINGTON — In the aftermath of the ‘fiscal cliff’ accord deal reached by Congress, Obama once again came under withering criticism by the liberal wing of his party, who complained that it was another instance of the President caving when he held almost all the cards.

The president, clearly stung by this critique, held an impromptu press conference yesterday and defended his record.

“Hey, give me a break here,” the president began. “I did a lot better than last time, when I completely folded and extended all the Bush tax cuts.  This time I only dug three or four lines in the sand before I actually didn’t cross one, and held out for ending the cuts for people making over four hundred grand a year. That’s progress!”

But then the president went back to a frequent refrain from his election campaign.

“Yes, I’m getting better. But it’s still not good enough. I have more work to do. And I’m confident that once I leave office, I will be ready to kick some serious ass.”

“Right now I still give in because I’m a natural compromiser, and plus I want to avoid that ‘angry black male’ perception. Also, Eric Cantor freaks me out. But once I leave office and don’t have any influence, I’m going to find my backbone. I mean it!”

Then the president added, “even now I’m zoning in on finding my backbone. I’m pretty sure it’s somewhere in the mid-section of my body. It’s just a matter of time till it appears.”