CLEVELAND — Seeking to relieve political tensions that had reached a boiling point during the presidential debates, President Obama and Governor Romney both showcased their playful sense of imagination in celebration of Halloween during their final campaign stops in Ohio this week.
Journalists across the state were excited to cover both candidates’ zany costumes and scary stories.
“Mitt just got really into his characters,” beamed local reporter Jennifer Sloven. “I mean, I couldn’t even keep track of how many costumes he had on, and he was still so convincing.”
Governor Romney donned a different mask at every venue, alternately taking the character of a governor that fights fiercely for women’s right to choose, a devout Christian presidential candidate who has aligned himself with an anti-gay marriage organization, and even an alternate-universe Bizarro Mitt Romney who supported the 2009 economic stimulus plan.
During an appearance in Euclid, Mitt Romney even told a spooky story about Halloweentown, a small town in the heartland of America haunted by unrelenting unemployment and a sluggish economic recovery. Two children, Billy and Suzie Smith, soon learn that “their king is actually an alien from outer space that feeds on the Halloween candy you worked so hard to collect!” In the chilling ending, all of the adults in town are brainwashed into re-electing the alien king, who also decides to cancel Christmas.
President Obama seemed genuinely excited to take a break from the stress of ordinary campaigning, and dove headfirst into his character, a parody of the popular “Hope” posters from 2008. However, even Cleveland Mayor Frank Jackson, dressed as Stone Cold Steve Austin for the holiday, singled out Governor Romney for his commitment to entertaining the families in the audience.
“I didn’t even recognize the president at first,” Jackson admitted to a Cleveland-based journal, “but Governor Romney really knocked our socks off.”
Jackson then attempted to crown Mitt Romney “King of Halloween,” but the governor refused the offer, citing that his Mormon faith discourages him from participating in the pagan holiday.